Writer's Block and Confused Mind

It is kind of funny when you have so many things to say but you dont know how to express the feelings, ideas and opinions. Everything seemed to be jumbled up or tangled. And in the end, you stop and just give up. That is what I am going through now. Baca lagi, baca lagi, tapi macamana nak luahkan ye? Susahnya, memulakan sebaris ayat bagi penulisan ilmiah, sama macam tiada apa yang boleh diluahkan walaupun kajian dan research has been going on for almost two years and collection of materials would probably be enough to fill up one thousand page of report. So is that what they call writer's block or my mind is just too confused with the many things I've learnt and the many things that cropped up just because I am still alive and going through normal routines and problems in life. How does one managed to take things easy and lead a happy life and publish books and write and work and do all, without fail, when every tiny things disturbed me and caused me to lose concentration. Tak boleh fokus. Peningnya!



So, my students can't really rely on me for help. I am a hopeless person. Susahnya mendidik diri sendiri. Bagaimana nak mendidik orang lain. Dan bagaimana dengan penggunaan bahasa rojak ni? Sekejap english sekejap bm. Salah ke? Kalau nak guna dua-dua boleh tak? Tapi menggunakan bahasa yang betul bagi kedua-duanya, mungkin bolehkan. Apa yang silap adalah menggunakan bahasa tapi tidak berbahasa. I m not sure about any of these. My problem now is how do I put aside other problems and focus on what I am supposed to do, that is writing my project paper which has been neglected for more than three months.



Trying to concrentrate seems to be the hardest thing...... and forcing myself to write end up in bad headache and gastritis. Well, I am not going to force myself anymore. Forget about the report. Somehow, I know, God will help me... somehow. Dia yang Maha Mengerti dan Mengetahui betapa lemahnya jiwa ini. Aduhai!

Bagaimana agaknya pelajar-pelajar menghadapi kerja-kerja kursus mereka ye.