Making Connection

It is not difficult to get friends. Especially in Malaysia.( I think! I am writing this through own experience ) Because the term ‘kawan’ is immediately applicable to anyone that you know. Kadang-kadang kita jumpa seseorang tu sekejap je, kebetulan masa kita pergi meeting. Lepas tu bila terserempak atau berjumpa semula, selalunya istilah kawan itulah yang kita gunakan kalau orang tanya siapa tu. Whereas, many westerners that I know will just say ,”ooo… that was someone I met during the meeting.” Kalau belajar sama masa kat universiti pun tapi tak rapat mereka akan kata, ‘ we studied in the same university’ walaupun duduk satu kelas. They will not accept just anyone as friend unless they know that someone really well. But Malaysian are generous, really generous! And we have higher endurance ability. Why? Because sometimes we can tolerate someone who is actually…how to describe….a pain in the neck!? Neck pain is bad. Trust me, I know!

In English, a person who works in the same department and doing something similar to your job is called ‘colleague’ tapi dalam bahasa Malaysia ‘rakan sekerja’. Rakan dengan kawan tu sama kan? Kita ada banyak istilah yang menggambarkan persahabatan. Contohnya, sahabat pena, rakan muda, sahabat eon, dan lain-lain tapi tak kenal langsung siapakah dia sahabat dan rakan yang ramai tu, melainkan sedikit sahaja. But how do we really make friend and be a good friend.

Kalau istilah komputer, working offline and working online are two different situations. When working online, you can get access to many things, make selection, browse, share ideas, bla, bla, bla. If you are an online person probably you can work with many because you have that open “freeway”. If a site is uninteresting, you can always navigate to other side or just close the tab. And if you find an interesting site, surely you can revisit.

But when you are working offline, you have to make do with whatever you have in your computer (please correct me if I am wrong) or maybe if you are lucky you get one two other computers you can infrared or Bluetooth. But then, that is all. If one computer breaks down, you will be on your own. It is a pity if the one and only computer that shares folders and files with you crashes and has to be reformatted.

Not too sure if my analogy works. Anyway, if your wavelength are not of the same frequency, there is still a possibility that you can keep on tuning till you find something in common but if you immediately shut down, there is nothing else to do.

The point is, the open policy is better (I think!). Work online, let them get to you or you to them, rather than offline. And don’t blame others if you don’t have friend. Think why! And when someone is with you, be interested, listen and LEARN! Jadilah kawan yang membantu, bukan kawan hantu. If you are choosy, don’t blame it on other people. And be humble, be receptive, respect others, and learn to give and take. If you keep on condemning people (although not those you are with), your so call ‘friend’ inevitably will draw away from you. And learn to appreciate friends. If they give you something because of kind thoughts, be thankful. Don’t make unnecessary remark behind them because in the end people are judging you not your friends! And another thing is be honest, be sincere because God does provide us with that inner sense- that we can feel whether one is sincere or not, sometimes!



Lastly, when other people say bad things about your friend, if you cant defend or protect do not add! That is betrayal. And if you feel like telling your friend about it, think carefully of the effect to your friend - if not knowing is better, please keep it to youself! You can always advise if you think your friend needs advice. Wallahualam.


Here is something that I quote from the book “30 Wasiat Imam Syafie” by Khairul Ghazali.

“Barang siapa yang menjalinkan ukhuwah dan menghidupkannya, maka ia akan memperoleh sepuluh keutamaan…..” - Imam Syafie-



(maybe lain kali kita cerita tentang sepuluh keutamaan ini)