Vested in triviality

A checklist is very important when organizing an activity/event/function, etc to make sure everything runs smoothly when it finally takes place. And most of the time we would be ready with a back-up plan, an alternative if something unexpected happen. There will be plan A or plan B! Meticulously, we would go through things over and over again, because we worry things might not go well. We’ll be in trouble. The boss would get mad, friends would hate us, the company would be in disgrace, the contract would go to someone else, the participants would not enjoy themselves, bla, bla, bla……

Some people will take everything seriously, nothing is considered insignificant especially where work is concerned. Bukan hanya di ofis kerja tapi bawak balik ke rumah. Jangan diganggu, jangan tegur, jangan cakap. Semua benda tentang kerja ni penting belaka. To the extend, salah letak satu tanda noktah dan koma sahaja pun, boleh menyebabkan buku program yang telah dicetak terpaksa dicetak semula. Memang tak dinafikan bahawa ketelitian itu sangat penting. Persembahan itu penting. First impression makes a lot of difference dan memuaskan hati client adalah matlamat utama. Tapi adakah itu sahaja matlamat kehidupan kita? Kerja bagus, pangkat, pengiktirafan, penghormatan, kemewahan dan macam-macam ke…..

Berapa lamakah umur kita? Tahu tak? Oooo....!Sebab itu la kena kerja bagus? Pernah tak kita duduk dan selidiki, semak, tanda, catat, ukur, timbang, sukat dan siasat sedalam-dalamnya apa yang kita lakukan untuk dapat kelas, gred, tempat tinggal, keperluan, pengiktirafan, kemewahan dan penghormatan yang mungkin kita perolehi di kehidupan yang lain? Berapa kali kita semak dengan ustaz ke ustazah ke, buku agama ke samada sembahyang kita tepat dan betul? Pernah tak kita buat penyata kira-kira berapa banyak pemberian dan sedekah yang telah kita berikan selain belanja makan kat luar, beli baju, melancong, tengok wayang? Pernah tak kita timbang berapa banyak zat pahala yang kita simpan dan berapa banyak kalori dosa yang kita buang dalam puasa kita? Pernah tak kita ambik calculator dan kira semua duit yang kita habiskan makan angin dengan wang yang kita kumpul nak pergi haji dan umrah? Pernah tak kita kira berapa kali kita katam Al-Quran berbanding dengan buku-buku cerita yang kita beli dan baca? Pernah tak kita fikirkan berapa kali kita kata terima kasih pada orang yang tolong kita, puji boss sebab nak ambik hati dengan jumlah kesyukuran kita melalui perbuatan dan kata-kata pada Tuhan SWT yang memberi kita segalanya dan PesuruhNya s.a.w. yang berkorban untuk menyelamatkan kita?

Aduhai...... (inilah monolog yang tak mampu nak jawab!!). Penatnya, bekerja dengan bebanan kerja yang banyak dan kadang-kadang ikhlas yang kurang selalu merungut. Tiba-tiba terfikir beginikah aku untuk akhiratku? Ashtagfirullahalazim!

This is not what I intended to write initially!

Semoga tiada berhala dalam diri kita walau sedikit pun kerana segala kebaikan tiada maknanya langsung bila merasa diri kita lebih baik, hebat dan lebih mulia daripada orang lain.

Making Connection

It is not difficult to get friends. Especially in Malaysia.( I think! I am writing this through own experience ) Because the term ‘kawan’ is immediately applicable to anyone that you know. Kadang-kadang kita jumpa seseorang tu sekejap je, kebetulan masa kita pergi meeting. Lepas tu bila terserempak atau berjumpa semula, selalunya istilah kawan itulah yang kita gunakan kalau orang tanya siapa tu. Whereas, many westerners that I know will just say ,”ooo… that was someone I met during the meeting.” Kalau belajar sama masa kat universiti pun tapi tak rapat mereka akan kata, ‘ we studied in the same university’ walaupun duduk satu kelas. They will not accept just anyone as friend unless they know that someone really well. But Malaysian are generous, really generous! And we have higher endurance ability. Why? Because sometimes we can tolerate someone who is actually…how to describe….a pain in the neck!? Neck pain is bad. Trust me, I know!

In English, a person who works in the same department and doing something similar to your job is called ‘colleague’ tapi dalam bahasa Malaysia ‘rakan sekerja’. Rakan dengan kawan tu sama kan? Kita ada banyak istilah yang menggambarkan persahabatan. Contohnya, sahabat pena, rakan muda, sahabat eon, dan lain-lain tapi tak kenal langsung siapakah dia sahabat dan rakan yang ramai tu, melainkan sedikit sahaja. But how do we really make friend and be a good friend.

Kalau istilah komputer, working offline and working online are two different situations. When working online, you can get access to many things, make selection, browse, share ideas, bla, bla, bla. If you are an online person probably you can work with many because you have that open “freeway”. If a site is uninteresting, you can always navigate to other side or just close the tab. And if you find an interesting site, surely you can revisit.

But when you are working offline, you have to make do with whatever you have in your computer (please correct me if I am wrong) or maybe if you are lucky you get one two other computers you can infrared or Bluetooth. But then, that is all. If one computer breaks down, you will be on your own. It is a pity if the one and only computer that shares folders and files with you crashes and has to be reformatted.

Not too sure if my analogy works. Anyway, if your wavelength are not of the same frequency, there is still a possibility that you can keep on tuning till you find something in common but if you immediately shut down, there is nothing else to do.

The point is, the open policy is better (I think!). Work online, let them get to you or you to them, rather than offline. And don’t blame others if you don’t have friend. Think why! And when someone is with you, be interested, listen and LEARN! Jadilah kawan yang membantu, bukan kawan hantu. If you are choosy, don’t blame it on other people. And be humble, be receptive, respect others, and learn to give and take. If you keep on condemning people (although not those you are with), your so call ‘friend’ inevitably will draw away from you. And learn to appreciate friends. If they give you something because of kind thoughts, be thankful. Don’t make unnecessary remark behind them because in the end people are judging you not your friends! And another thing is be honest, be sincere because God does provide us with that inner sense- that we can feel whether one is sincere or not, sometimes!



Lastly, when other people say bad things about your friend, if you cant defend or protect do not add! That is betrayal. And if you feel like telling your friend about it, think carefully of the effect to your friend - if not knowing is better, please keep it to youself! You can always advise if you think your friend needs advice. Wallahualam.


Here is something that I quote from the book “30 Wasiat Imam Syafie” by Khairul Ghazali.

“Barang siapa yang menjalinkan ukhuwah dan menghidupkannya, maka ia akan memperoleh sepuluh keutamaan…..” - Imam Syafie-



(maybe lain kali kita cerita tentang sepuluh keutamaan ini)

Ocean Deep!

Hari ni terjumpa artikel-artikel lama yang sangat bermakna walaupun bukan itu yang dicari. Mungkin ada sebabnya terjumpa. Salah satunya adalah tentang Pesanan Luqman Al-Hakim. Dulu ayah selalu quote Luqman Al-Hakim kalau memberi nasihat.

Antara nasihat-nasihat Luqman Al-Hakim, saya pilih empat ni;

-Sesiapa yang melihat keaiban diri sendiri, dia tidak akan peduli keaiban orang lain.
-Sesiapa yang tidak mengenakan pakaian takwa, dia tidak akan ditutupi dengan suatu apapun.
-Sesiapa yang tidak tahu tempat letak kakinya(berjalan), dia akan berjalan penuh penyesalan
-Sesiapa yang biasa dengan kejahilan, dia akan meninggalkan keadilan.

Tak tahulah kenapa saya pilih yang empat ni, banyak lagi yang lain. Mungkin saya melihat contoh yang banyak di sekeliling kehidupan hari ni – reflective of these four.
Dan memanglah, ringkas dan pendek saja setiap satu tapi kalau kita kaji dan cuba memahami apa yang disampaikan.... jauh dan mendalam.

Kemudian nampak pulak satu lagi keratan dari satu komik tempatan (Ujang) ada lukisan kartun tapi mesejnya masya-Allah hebat! Tajuknya “Ajakan mana perlu dituruti”.

-Barangsiapa yang menuruti ajakan iblis maka akan hilanglah agamanya.
-Barangsiapa yang menuruti ajakan nafsu maka akan hilanglah jiwanya.
-Barangsiapa yang menuruti ajakan keinginan maka akan hilanglah akalnya.
-Barangsiapa yang menuruti ajakan dunia maka akan hilanglah akhiratnya.
-Barangsiapa yang menuruti ajakan anggota tubuhnya maka akan hilanglah syurganya.
-Dan barangsiapa yang menuruti ajakan Allah SWT maka akan hilanglah keburukan
daripadanya dan mendapat seluruh kebaikan.


Kalau diteliti mungkin penulisnya mengambil dari pesanan Luqman Al-Hakim dan Hadis Rasulullah s.a.w. Apa pun kita cubalah renung-renungkan.


Semoga dapat mencontohi kebijaksanaan Sang Pipit ketika Nabi Ibrahim a.s. sedang dibakar oleh Namrud yang zalim. Dan andainya ilmu yang di miliki oleh Nabi Musa a.s. dan Nabi Khidir a.s dan seluruh dunia hanyalah ibarat air yang diteguk Sang Pipit, agak-agaknya ada tak semolekul wap air pada diri kita? Sang Pipit lebih glamour, namanya di sebut dalam kitab.

Isn’t that a manifestation?

Mana awak tau saya tak sembahyang?
Mana awak tau saya tak beriman?
Macam mana awak boleh kata kita tak berakhlak?
Jangan main tuduh-tuduh ye! Mana pulak awak dengar ni? Ini semua bohong. Saya bukan kaya sangat, biasa-biasa je. Apa hal pulak tuduh saya rasuah? Awak semua yang tuduh tu, balik la bertaubat. Berdosa tau main tuduh-tuduh. Botox? Mana ada. Saya tak pernah buat semua tu, saya tau haram!

Saya buat semua ni ikhlas nak tolong orang. Saya lakukan apa saja yang saya mampu untuk menjaga nama baik negara, keluarga dan agama. Kita mesti ingat kalau bukan kita yang bertungkus lumus berusaha untuk berjaya dan menjaga maruah bangsa, diri, negara dan agama, pastilah kita akan hidup susah di dunia ni.

Ooo.. tapi saya pergi disco tu pasal nak jumpa kawan. Dia tak biasa kat KL ni, tak tau jalan, sesat! Sampai kat tempat tu, saya suruh la dia tunggu, saya pergi ambik dia. Lagi pun bukan saya pergi sorang, abang angkat saya temankan. Ye la memang maghrib. Depan tu kan masjid. Lepas tu kami pergi masjid tu sembahyang. Baju hari tu kebetulan, malam sebelumnya tidor rumah kawan,letih, jadi tak bawak baju lain. Terpaksalah pinjam baju dia.

Kereta tu abang angkat saya punya. Dia tak marah pun saya bawak. You sebok kenapa? Ya Allah, rumah tu pun bukan saya beli rumah baru, rumah lama! Cuma renovate aje. Saya kerja tau, kumpul duit takkan nak nak baiki rumah sendiri tak boleh. Bukan banyak sangat pun 19 juta je. Ee... tak baik tau. Muka kita ni memang tegang sebab kita memang sentiasa berwuduk dan berselawat... itu petua awet muda! Aaaa... tak ada ekspresi, tak senyum? Kita tengah praktis untuk filem baru ni...”Mujahat Moden!” Kepada semua masyarakat kat luar sana, taubatlah! Tak baik tuduh-tuduh. Apa yang saya miliki sekarang Alhamdulillah, adalah usaha keras saya... tak mungkin Allah bagi semua kesenangan ini kalau saya banyak buat dosa tau!


YE LA NI? BOLEH CAYA KE? AWASLAH YE! ADA ANUGERAH ALLAH KEPADA HAMBANYA TAPI NAMANYA - ISTIDRAJ TAU..... JANGAN MAIN-MAIN!!!


”Barangsiapa mencari redha Allah dengan marahnya manusia, maka Allah akan cukupkan baginya dari manusia dan barangsiapa yang mencari redha manusia dengan marahnya Allah, maka Allah lepaskan dia kepada manusia,”

Semangatku tetap menyala!

Hari ni hari apa? Hari nak selamatkan bumi? Padam lampu pukul 8? Iya ke? Macamana nak sembahyang, ngaji, dengar kuliah dalam radio? Wajib ke? Maafla. Tak ambik port semua ni. Bukan tak nak menyokong, tapi..... entahlah. Katanya hari-hari iklan dalam tv, dalam radio. Okayla, I admit, I seldom watch tv except for specific programmes and the radio I listen to, rasanya tak ada lak dengar cerita ni. Surat khabar? Jarang, kalau ada pun online je sebab kawan atau saudara mara kata ada sesuatu yang menarik atau orang yang dikenali keluar. Itu saja. (Bukan apa, cerita banyak tak berapa tepat, duniawi sangat dan mengganggu emosi je, so, malas..)

Tapi menarik jugak. Sebab orang-orang yang setiap hari berdoa untuk kebaikan dunia dan akhirat, insya-Allah rasanya akan menyokong perkara-perkara kebaikan ni. Tapi takde ke kita nak buat hari, waktu atau zon lain yang melibatkan padam dan tutup gak. Contohnya, kempen tutup kedai makan kepada lelaki muslim setiap Jumaat mulai jam 12.45 hingga 1.45 petang (lebihkurangla). Tutup semua siaran tv pada jam 7-9 malam setiap malam. Padamkan semua lampu pusat-pusat hiburan yang meruntuhkan akhlak masyarakat….. selama-lamanya? Padamkan saja nama-nama orang yang tak mendatangkan faedah pada rakyat dan agama, padamkan aja api-api fitnah, padamkan segala niat nak menindas orang, padamlah apa-apa yang sepatutnya dipadamkan!

Taknak ke join kempen macam ni? War-war kan lah dalam tv dan radio setiap 20 minit ke sehari.... Setiap waktu solat tu selain azan di semua channel yang ada, buatlah pop-up setiap 10 minit – suruh orang solat! Mesti kaw-kaw punya. Kalah kopi cap kapal api. Sekarang nak suruh padam api? Sorry la, dalam gelap ni macam-macam boleh berlaku sebab tak nampak!!! Takut!!! Ikutla untuk hari ni untuk anda semoga hanya gelap rumah bukan gelap mata dan gelap hati!

ALLAH MELIHAT DAN MENDENGAR SEGALA-GALANYA!

Yang kat luar sana, dalam gelap tu jangan ambil kesempatan ye, anda sedang diawasi dan diperhatikan!

Things that matters

Today I was quite embarrassed because I did a blunder in front of almost 60 people. I am not being defensive but I am sure it wouldn’t happen if clear instruction was given! (Another test from God, sabar aje la). So for the next 2 hours I had to continue doing my duty (control macho la… dalam hati Allah saja yang tahu).

Proper instruction is vital in ensuring result. Dalam exam pun kita kena baca rubric betul-betul baru jawabkan. Kalau tak, silap haribulan kena mengulang semula kalau tak dibuang terus.

When we want someone to do something for us, we must give clear and specific instruction. Kalau tak the consequences could be disastrous or fatal. Tadi tu segan la kejap.

Teringat lagi a story told by a senior colleague when we were somewhere in the “wilderness” in line of duty. Suppose to be a joke but thinking back this is a good lesson. Satu pengajaran yang hebat. Tapi tak taulah how far this is true, I mean, the story. Firstly, my apology, mohon maaf la kalau cerita ni kurang sopan (ini versi yang telah di edit oleh diri sendiri sebab… malas la nak explain) atau di rasakan sebagai memperkecilkan satu usaha murni yang tak ramai pun orang nak buat.

Cerita asalnya adalah tentang penduduk asli yang tinggal jauh di pedalaman. Jadi adalah pendakwah dari majlis agama pergi mengislamkan mereka. Selepas pengislaman beramai-ramai, adalah follow-up yang dibuat. Lawatan berkala untuk mengajar mereka tentang ilmu agama. So, one day, an ustaz pergi la ke kampung orang asli tu. Kali ni dia pergi nak ajar mereka tentang sembahyang. Ustaz pun mengajarlah secara teorinya, apa bacaannya. Setelah mengajar apa nak baca dan tunjuk gambar, kebetulan masuk pulak waktu sembahyang zuhur. Ustaz pun ajak semua pergi berwuduk.

Ustaz ni mungkin muda dan kurang pengalaman. Selesai berwuduk dia pun katalah -sekarang kita semua sembahyang sama-sama, berjemaah. Saya jadi imam, tuan-tuan jadi makmum. Saya berdiri kat depan, tuan-tuan berdiri belakang saya, rapat-rapat, luruskan barisan dan ikutlah apa yang saya buat.

Dia pun berdiri mengadap kiblat dan mulalah sembahyang. Masalahnya, ustaz tak tengok belakang semula- saudara-saudara baru yang kat belakang ni pun beraturlah lurus, rapat-rapat memanjang ke belakang macam keretapi, yang pendek depan yang tinggi belakang. So immediately belakang ustaz budak kecik umur 7-8 tahun. Masa ustaz rukuk budak tu dicuitnya punggung ustaz, terperanjat kawan tu, tapi nasib baik tersebut ’Allah’ je walaupun terlompat ke depan sikit. Makmum belakang ikut jugak. Ustaz sambung terus. Lepas tu, masa sujud pulak, budak tu di cocoknya punggung ustaz tu. Ustaz tu terkejut beruk, menjerit dan terus berdiri! Batal la sembahyang ustaz.Lepas tu, geram, dia pun pusing belakang nak tengok sapa makmum kurang asam ni. Bila pusing belakang, tengok makmum, kelu lidah ustaz, tak dapat bercakap!

So, salah sorang makmum pun cakap la kat ustaz tu......

”Syudah ke usytaz? Syusyahla syembahyang ni.Nak kena lompat masya tunduk,lepash tu kena menjerit masya cium tanah terush berdiri Kalau masyuk utan cari lauk, binatang syemua lari!"

????????? So the moral of the story? (Selain daripada budak asli ni memang nakal).

Cakap biar terang, arahan biar jelas!!

What is your metaphor?

Today I attended a very interesting workshop and there was a slot about - “My Career Path”. So, everyone was asked to draw their career path. I was enjoying myself looking at all the remarkable sketches of maps, routes, winding roads, going uphill track, and many more. Those people were very creative in presenting their experience using different symbols, drawings, icons, signages and yet we could understand almost all at just one look.

Then we were required to think of a metaphor to describe our career path. I was struggling hard to think of something within that three minutes but those people in a blink, came up with their metaphors. I was really slow. (Teringat pulak cerita ustaz tentang masyarakat kita yang confuse tak kenal diri, umpama siput babi. Bila di tanya siput babi, kenapa la kamu jalan slow sangat? Siput babi kata dia tengah confuse fikir- dia ni siput ke babi? He he, lawak kan ustaz tu!)

The next thing you know, all their metaphors were already on the wall. There were spices, flower buds, someone trudging uphill, flowing river, and many interesting objects. When asked reasons for their choice of metaphor they explained really well and yes, their choice fit their description! The best part was, at the end of everyone’s presentation, they expressed relief and gratitude and they felt that they have all been blessed! Not a soul there that I could remember, complaint about their ordeals or obstacles to be where they are now.

It is obvious that a normal human being has conscience – that innate ability to sense the presence of A Great Power that gives us all the blessings, grants all our wishes, provides all that we need, looks after us, listens to our prayers and takes good care of us. Yet, we tend to forget Him and deny His existence by doing what we are not supposed to do and not doing what we are supposed to. Sad isn’t it? Tapi, Hidayah itu Allah juga yang memberi.

Lastly, be contented even though all your journeys were in a wheelbarrow when you were not pushing it. Although you arrived, extremely late, because you stopped many times,(-you got to sniff the air, smell the flowers (or dead animal along the way), observe posh cars that just speed along, make friends, collect and drop items along the way-) You are here now, right? Some people did not make it, they had accident and that was the end.

And aren’t we heading toward the same destination? You and I?

Ya Allah, perbaikilah agamaku yang menjadi tonggak urusanku; dan perbaikilah duniaku yang menjadi sumber kehidupanku; dan perbaikilah akhiratku yang merupakan destinasi akhirku; dan jadikanlah kehidupan ini bagiku sebagai tempat untuk menambah kebaikan; dan jadikanlah mati bagiku sebagai rehat dari segala keburukan. Amin ya Rabbal alamin.

Meeting People Where They Are

Zaman sekarang ni kita hidup dalam a world of technology and advancement. We keep in touch with people all the time, no matter where they are. You don’t have to travel anywhere but be in the comfort of your home and still get connected. So, we make use of technology to do many things. Selling, buying, promoting, advertising, gossiping, spreading news, spreading lies, spying, stealing, bla, bla, bla………..cari jodoh pun boleh, kalau nak!

So, apa yang susahnya.. The problem is that humans are created with different experience and needs, they have different perception over things, different background knowledge although we can find people who possess identical abilities. For example, many men can cook that is why many great chefs are men but they have nothing else in common- personality, lifestyle, interest, cooking style, etc. And gender wise, we find that being opposite does not mean that a man and a woman might not be interested in the same thing.

Teringat pulak ceramah seorang ustaz yang menggambarkan karakter lelaki sebagai – “auto delete” dan perempuan “auto save”. Sebab katanya, lelaki ni semua benda dia lupa, lepas kita cakap kejap je dia akan lupa. (especially husband la kalau isterinya bercakap). Perempuan pulak semua benda dia ingat terutama kalau sesuatu yang melukakan. Dia boleh save memory tu dengan detail walaupun bertahun-tahun.

Back to people. We have different learning style, interest and ability and we view things differently. Sesuatu yang penting pada seseorang mungkin hanya perkara remeh-temeh pada orang lain. That is why when we want to communicate ideas or share information we have to consider all this matters. Apa saja yang cuba kita sampaikan kita kena belajar modify content sesuai dengan orang yang berkaitan. Macam orang berdakwah juga, takkan kita nak cerita fasal kesan dan akibat dosa sepanjang masa pada orang yang baru nak berjinak-jinak dengan Islam. Dah tentu dia akan rasa susahnya Islam ni, tak jadilah nak convert. Tapi kalau kita guna pendekatan pahala bagi setiap kebaikan, ganjarannya syurga, bidadari, segala yang indah, pasti tarikannya lebih kuat. Bukankah Rasulullah s.a.w meninggalkan contoh begitu?

Masa sekolah rendah dulu kan ustaz/ustazah banyak guna teknik bercerita aje kan . Kisah nabi-nabi, macam mana orang boleh masuk syurga, jarang dengar pun kalau ada petikan ayat Quran atau dalil itu-ini. Sebabnya kanak-kanak susah nak fahamkan. The most important thing is to make sure everyone understands and get the message. Di Malaysia pun, kalau kita pergi belajar agama kita perasan cara penyampaian guru. Ada kalanya keras dan menggerunkan, semua benda dosa, sebab guru tu merasa pelajarnya adalah orang yang dah tahu dan mengamalkan, jadi nak pastikan kita sentiasa memperbaiki diri. Ada kalanya tajuk-tajuk tertentu, guru kita suruh berdoa banyak-banyak, buatlah apa terdaya, sikit pun tak apa asalkan istiqamah. Sebab dia rasa yang hadir tu orang yang sedang berusaha untuk jadi baik atau lebih baik dari biasa-biasa aje. Dan guru-guru pun come from different education background-maybe that could be the reason for the different approach. – so the way they deliver and impart knowledge pun berdasarkan latar belakang pengajian mereka juga.

Apa pun what I am trying to say is that kalau kita belajar kita kena sesuaikan diri dengan cara penyampaian guru kita dan kalau kita mengajar cubalah fikirkan penerimaan pelajar kita.

“The biggest mistake in teaching is teaching the same subject the same way” -and
“The biggest mistake in learning is treating all subjects the same way”.

ILMU ITU CAHAYA- Dan orang berilmu pasti ada ‘glow’ yang tersendiri.

Semoga Allah memberkati apa saja usaha kita untuk berbuat kebaikan walaupun hanya sedikit.

Fortitude = Jati diri

Today a friend told me about a friend of hers. The eldest daughter of a very poor family. When she was accepted to the university on scholarship, she used the scholarship fund to support her family. She lived only on basic necessities of a woman. Ate bread most of the time and borrowed all the books she needed from the library, nothing was ever bought. And today, she is doing fine, looks younger than her age and lives comfortably.

Then I was reminded of Nik Nur Madihah. Another great example! But then, the things that really got me thinking was how my friend described the attitude of her friend toward the lectures while studying. And I heard about Nik Nur Madihah’s positive attitude as a student. Pentingkan? Adab belajar. Dulu ustaz Zahazan ada kaitkan tentang adab pelajar kepada guru semasa membincangkan tafsir Surah Al-Kahfi- antara Nabi Musa a.s. dengan Nabi Khidir a.s.(Di radio Ikim). Bagaimana pentingnya peranan adab dalam belajar atau apa sajalah.

And another good friend of mine, pernah mengingatkan agar jangan lupa mendoakan untuk guru-guru kita. Katanya, dengan cara itu ilmu itu, insya-Allah tak akan hilang dan di berkati. Dan bukankah itu juga tanda kita bersyukur dengan ilmu yang Allah beri melalui guru kita. Sehingga kini pun kita belajar setiap hari secara langsung atau tidak. Dan rasanya kalau kita belajar tentang sesuatu melalui perangai seseorang kita juga patut bersyukur, Allah beri kita pengajaran secara begitu. Jadi patutlah kita doakan juga orang yang begini dalam doa kita. Teringat juga, kata sahabat saya dulu, kadang-kadang kita terlepas dari sesuatu musibah kerana ada doa-doa orang yang beriman yang mungkin kita tak kenal pun.

Dan kita belajar dan berguru kepada orang-orang yang alim dalam bidang-bidang mereka kan? Sebab tadi saya mencari-cari apa perkataan yang betul-betul menerangkan ’Jati diri’ dalam bahasa Inggeris, seorang kawan yang memang pakar dalam bidangnya memberikan jawapan yang saya rasa sesuai. Sudah pasti setiap guru kita punya kepakaran mereka sendirikan. Teringat kisah Rasulullah s.a.w yang pernah di tanya tentang boleh atau tidak mengahwinkan pokok kurma – Baginda menjawab kamu lebih tau tentang bidang kamu. Manusia yang menerima wahyu Allah pun mengiktiraf ilmu pekebun kurma, kenapalah kadang-kadang kita mengkritik guru tanpa mengemukakan sesuatu ilmu yang lebih baik atau bukti yang sahih bagi kritikan kita. Tak salah menyoal dan bertanya sebab itu pun satu cara belajar tapi, itulah yang kita sebut adabkan.

Dan apahal pulak isu jati diri ni? Sebab semalam perbincangan tentang orang yang hampir tukar agama kerana tak tahan dengan kerenah jiran. Ramai orang merungut, apa punya jiran lah jahat sangat. Rupa-rupanya yang nak tukar agama tu yang tak betul. Susah sikit je nak tukar agama, salahkan semua orang. Salah sendiri tak nampak – mungkin dia tak sedar salah itu datang dari dirinya. Selalu kita macam tu lah. Salah orang semua nampak. Cuba bayangkan kalau Allah buat peraturan setiap minggu segala perbuatan,perlakuan kita ditayangkan untuk tontonan – mungkin kita tak pandang pun kiri kanan lagi melainkan diri sendiri saja. Teringat juga sesuatu yang pernah dibaca, mungkin dalam kitab La Tahzan (nanti saya semak semula, betul ke tidak), andai saja dosa itu berbau. Bayangkanlah (ini andaian sendiri, bukan Dr. Aidh)buat dosa kecik sikit-sikit je baunya, buat dosa besar, masyaalah macam bau mayat reput, sanggup tak kita buat dosa. Pastu bayangkan kalau Allah specifikkan pulak bau tu untuk dosa apa. Semua orang tau apa kita buat hari tu....... Maha Pengasih Allah, ditutupnya aib kita.

Wallahualam. Lain kali la sambung.

Semoga Allah membuka jalan untuk kita membuat kebaikan dunia dan akhirat. Amin!

Vibes, Premonition, Prophecy

Pilih siapa kawan kita. Itu pentingkan? Sebab kadang-kadang personaliti dan perangai kawan reflect apa yang kita gemar atau suka sebab tu kita boleh klik dengan orang tu. Teringat Dr. Shapie? (Ye ke nama dia ni, maaf dr.! Tuan juga guru saya, mungkin sebab tu, saya ni lambat sikit menghafal ni, guru pun tak sure, ampun…) Yang mengajar kaedah menghafal Al- Quran tu. Anak dia 6 orang dah jugak hafal semua, yang lain kecik-kecik surah Al-Waqiah kat bibir je tak payah tengok kitab. Dia cerita masa belajar dulu dia duduk dengan pelajar yang suka mengaji Quran. Dari tak tahu sampai mengajar sekarang, kan ke hebat tu! (Allah juga memberikan anugerah kepada sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya!)

Kalau berkawan dengan penagih dadah, agak-agak dapatke ilmu terhebat macam tu? Memang hebat! Kalau hafal pun mungkin perkara-perkara macam ..... heroin sepaket RM30, syabu boleh beli kat sana, nak high gi bawah jambatan... Entahlah.

Dan ada kawan yang kita tak perlu baik dengan dia, Cuma duduk satu ofis ke, kerja tempat yang sama ke tapi ada aura dan vibes tertentu. Ada yang negatif dan ada yang positif. Dan ada orang yang dalam dirinya ada prasangka buruk je kat orang. Kalau orang mengucap salam, ramah mesra dia kata gatal la, nak mengorat. Guna bahasa yang sedih bila dengar... betina nak ngorat jantan! Kenapalah nak berfikiran begitu. Bukankah Rasulullah s.a.w pernah berpesan, ”jauhilah prasangka buruk kerana kebanyakkan darinya adalah dosa!” Kenal orang tidak, tapi buat kenyataan macam-macam. Tapi tak apalah, itu semua resam hidup kan.

Dan ada orang rasa dirinya ada kebolehan merasa apa yang akan berlaku esok atau masa akan datang. Dia guna perkataan apa prophecy, premonition, foresight? Tapi rasanya semua tu ramalan dan nujum la kan? Awasilah, wahai orang-orang ni. Dalam novel ke cerita ke boleh la buat gitu sebab penulis dah tau apa dia nak buat. Tak taulah tentang Karamah. Tapi Karamah tu macam kisah Saidina Umar al Khattab r.a... dia kat tempat lain, tentera Islam kat tempat lain, tapi dia mendapat bayangan keadaan mereka dan berteriak menyeru mereka naik bukit. Tapi itu berlaku serentak dan bukan yang belum berlaku. Bukan sesuatu di masa depan kan?

Tapi kadang-kadang ada masa rasa tak sedap hati je macam sesuatu tak kena kan. Mungkin itu firasat. Wallahualam. Tak taula apa bendanya. Tapi apapun mungkin kita boleh fikirkan.

LEARNT FROM THE PAST, LIVE IN THE PRESENT AND BELIEVE IN THE FUTURE!.

Dan apa yang kita harap tapi tak dapat tu, reda aje lah ye. Adalah hikmahnya. Think of this cowboy wisdom:

“If your horse died, get off!”

inikah tanda cintamu?

"Dali sayang mak tak?"

"Sayang! Kalau mak takde Dali pun taknak hidup lagi"

"Ok, mak dah masak. Mak nak mandi dan rehat kejap nanti kita makan sama-sama."


Bila ibu keluar sejam kemudian, panggil anaknya ajak makan, jawapan anak, dia dah makan, tapi dia ada tinggal untuk ibunya. Agaknya apakah perasaan ibu bila tengok, ikan tinggal ekor dan kepala aje, gulai tinggal kuah dan nasi cukup-cukup setengah senduk. Sampainya hati anak yang disayangi tinggalkan sisa saja untuk ibunya.


Sedih agaknya melihat kalau orang-orang yang kita sayang hanya tinggalkan untuk kita sisa sisa sahaja. Suami lepas kerja tak balik terus, pergi main badminton dulu, minum kopi dengan kawan-kawan dah malam baru balik. Cakap sepatah dua, letih terus tido.... sedihkan! Hujung waktu malam baru sampai.


Kita buat macam tu tak pada yang kita sayang? Kita kata Cinta pertama pada Allah, dah nak habis waktu baru kita sembahyang. Kalau subuh tu tunggu waktu Gajah bangun agaknya- orang kata subuh gajah. Bila zohor boleh buat dua terus sambung asar atau asar sambung maghrib, lepas tu isyak tido dulu, sebelum subuh bangun sembahyang. Ada tak kita buat begitu? Tinggalkan sisa masa untuk Allah. Boleh gerenti ke ada masa lagi. Ada orang setelah di timpa musibah tersedar juga dan berubah (Alhamdulillah)- kata orang tua 'dah terantuk baru tengadah'- nasib baik boleh lenggak juga, kalau terantuk terus mati, jenuh menjawab soalan yang dah lama bocor tapi ramai tak lulus!


Kita kata cinta Rasulullah s.a.w tapi kita dengar nama dia buat tak tau je, sambut salam ke selawat ke jauh sekali. Cuba dengar nama penyanyi ke, pemain bola sepak ke, beria-ria kita seronok, siap letak gambar lagi "Idolaku". Memangla tak ada gambar Rasulullah s.a.w nak kita letak tapi sunnah dia yang biasa-biasa pun kita tak buat. Orang Malaysia ni, tengok orang lepas makan jilat jari pun dia kata, "tak malu sangatla, tak cukup tambah, tak payah nak jilat jari gitu, tak senonoh." Kalau orang beri senyuman ikhlas, dia tanya balik, "apa senyum-senyum?".


Kita kata cinta Islam tapi kita ikut cara yang bukan ajaran dalam agama Islam. Tipu orang, aniaya orang, curi harta benda orang, tindas orang. Kalau jadi bos nak senang diri sendiri je- perah pekerja, jadi pemimpin pentingkan harta dunia dan pangkat- lupa orang miskin orang susah bukan nak tolong. Orang miskin pulak susah sikit je ugut nak murtad la, nak bunuh diri la, jual anak la. Bab cara hidup , pakaian, budaya, jangan ceritalah, yang bukan Islam pun kagum. Anak kita kecik-kecik kita hantar belajar mengaji ke sembahyang ke atau kita hantar menari dan menyanyi? Ibubapa bukan main lagi seronok tengok anak atas pentas, siap bertepuk sorak, tempah banner berbagai-bagai. Didik anak jadi bidadari ke jadi penari?

Kat mana nilai cinta ni? Benarkah ini cinta? Kalau nak dapat cinta sesama manusia lautan api pun sanggup di renangi - nak berenang ke dalam neraka nanti? Nauzubillah, berdiri bulu roma, takutnya! Allahumma ajirna minannar! Janji dengan buah hati nak tunggu di pintu syurga - tunggu apa? Hebat orang kita ni. Nak ajak orang buat maksiat, tempat disediakan dimana-mana je, lengkap segala kemudahan tandas, tempat duduk, gerai minuman, macam-macam ada. Tempat sembahyang, masyaallah, kecik, kotor, tak ada air, tak dijaga.

Memang Tuhan Maha Hebat tak perlu pun kita buat benda-benda yang Dia suruh tu, bukan untuk Dia, tapi kalau dah nama kita ni hamba berlagaklah macam hamba. Allah miliki segala, tak perlu apa-apapun dari kita. Bukankah Dia yang memberi segala yang kita ada.

Bila ada orang anjurkan protes ke, konsert amal (yang ni pun tak berapa faham gak, bolehke?)mengutuk penindasan kepada orang Islam, kita tunjuk hebat dan gagah kita. Jerit sana, jerit sini, bakar bendera, bakar gambar, bakar macam-macamla! Amboiii......itu saja ke tanda cinta?

Inikah tanda terimakasih dan cinta kita? Jangan sampai kita pun terbakar nanti.

## Mungkin nada agak keras, sebabnya geram tadi! Tapi, niat hati ini ikhlas, bukan mengingatkan orang lain sahaja, tapi diri sendiri juga! Semoga Allah mengampuni segala kesilapan dan kelemahan kita...amin! (One of my friends, kalau marah lancar cakap omputih dia, terbalik pulak, when I am angry- bahasa ibunda jugaklah. Baru tadi cerita pasal paku di dinding- jangan marah- itulah susahnya mendidik diri sendiri )

NAILS ON THE WALL

There was a young man who had a very bad temper. He couldn’t control his anger although over a very small matter. One day, his father gave him a sack of nails.
”Father, what should I do with all the nails?” asked the young man.

“Every time you get angry, just go to the brick wall in front of the house and hammer the nails into the wall, to release your anger,” replied the father.

On the first day alone, he had 37 nails to the wall. After a few weeks he managed to control his anger and the number of nails that he used decreased. And he realised that controlling his anger was much more easier than hammering nails into the wall. And then finally, one day, when he did not get angry, not even once, he went to see his father to announced it happily.

His father congratulated him and asked him to pull out the nail one by one, for everyday that he managed not to get angry. Days went by and eventually, he had pulled out all the nails from the wall. Proudly, he went to his father and informed him.

The father took him by the hand and walked with him to the brick wall and said:-

“ You did it, my son, extremely well, but look at all the holes left on the wall. The wall does not looked the same as it was before. When you said or did something in anger, it hurt and left behind it a scar, just like this. You can stab someone with a knife and kill him, but remember that, it doesn’t matter how many times you apologize and regret your action, the cut will be there. A broken heart is worse than a broken hand.”


True friends are rare gemstones. They make you laugh, cheer your days, share your sorrows, they motivate and help you to achieve success. Friends are also good listeners who open up their hearts for you.

Please forgive me, if ever, I had hit a nail and left a hole on the wall of your heart.

I got this in my email a long time ago, cant remember when. Just thought of sharing as well. There are times when we take things for granted and failed to see that those who are close to us are the ones who are always hurt by our actions.

One of Dr. Aidh Bin Abdullah Al Qarni’s words of wisdom:

“Kegembiraan itu membutuhkan rasa aman, harta juga memerlukan sedekah, kedudukan memerlukan dukungan, dan kemuliaan memerlukan kerendahan hati.”

Semoga apa saja yang kita lakukan adalah kerana Allah semata-mata. Dan buat sahabatku dan sesiapa saja yang sedang menghadapi ujian di luar sana, percayalah bukan anda sahaja di uji dan percayalah bahawa Allah menguji untuk memberikan kita sesuatu yang lebih baik. Katakanlah, “INNALILLAHIWAINNAILAIHIRAJIUN”. (Mengingatkan diri sendiri juga). Semoga Allah Redha dengan kita. Baru habis dengar Usrah Rasa Hati (Hati yang mati) di radio Ikim. Dan semoga juga hati kita hidup selamanya!

in time or on time?

It is always the time factor! I am late; I am in a hurry; I am trying to beat the deadline; I don’t have enough time, got to rush; see u later, soon, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, second, minute, hour………they are all description of time.

This morning I was listening to radio IKIM – Ustaz Zawawi was preaching about – Signs of Doomsday – The Judgement Days that follow! One of them was - How time becomes so short that it went by unnoticed.
A year feels like a month, a month seems like a week, a week is just like a day, and a day is just like a flicker of light – so small that the flame will die out very fast at any moment. So, what do we compare seconds and minutes and hour to? Nothing! Breathing in and out nowadays is a blessing beyond gratitude.

And in this world of technology, time is so precious- time is money. But no amount of money in this world can buy time. So, here it goes again. I want to learn Arabic, cant find time to slot that agenda in, want to learn ‘tajwid’, when can I start, want to go for my Haj – when will I get my turn, want to do welfare work for the orphan – when to go? And reading articles and writing and going online is actually ‘stealing time” in between here and there. I will have to answer for that. O Allah have mercy on me’

How I praise and look up to the ustaz and ustazah – who are my teachers although none of them knows me but they are in my prayers, insya-Allah. It is the virtual world. I learn most of the things I know (especially –religious matter) from book and through watching Halaqah, Al Kulliyah, Ehwal Islam, Oasis, radio Ikim and the net. Of course I learn all the basics from parents and school and went to learnt Al Quran in primary school – but that was just culture at that time. But then I learnt more through life experience, people around me, the sky, the trees, environment; and I learn a lot from Ustaz Zahazan, Ustaz Zawawi, Ustaz Amin (Muhammad), Dato’Hassan Din, Dr. Sharifah, Datuk Siti NorBahyah, Ustaz Zamri, Ustaz Badlishah, Ustaz Roslan, Ustaz Shukri Ustaz Ir. M Jais and many more….Jazakallah hu khaira. And then I learn through reading from the net. Ustaz Zaharuddin (http://www.zaharuddib.net/), Ustaz Amin (http://www.ustazamin.com/), and many more….

And I don’t know what are we doing with the little time we have. Every time I read Ustaz Amin’s articles I admire his kindness towards the orphans, his good fortune of traveling all over the world, his knowledge, his continuous journey looking for more knowledge and sharing knowledge, his casual ways of sharing; yet sometimes I envy him for everything that he has and does; still I pray that he will continue doing what he is doing and that he will not be blinded or clouded by fame and wealth (if God permits) and pray that there is not even a tiny seed of arrogance in his heart and reading ustaz Zaharuddin I appreciate his wisdom and courage to express the truth. But then if I quote something that I read from Ustaz Zaharuddin’ article which he said he heard from someone

"Orang yang bijaksana, menulis tentang ilmu. Orang cerdik menulis tentang peristiwa. Orang pandai menulis tentang ‘orang lain'. Hanya orang bodoh menulis tentang dirinya sendiri"

I definitely fall into the latter category of people. I am fool! All the people I respect have the same hour as I do 24 per day. Yet they write books, they teach, they study, they research, they manage family, they do this and that and the list goes on.

What am I doing? What time is it?

of crocodiles and step mother

Remember the old Malay movie-Ratapan Anak Tiri? Remember the cruel, wicked, mean, heartless step mother? That was how the society (during that period) depicted a step mother. Someone who has no good intention for the children from the husband's previous marriage. All that she wanted was a husband. And remember the children in the movie? Those were the days.... when children were helpless creatures, unable to defend themselves, very easily manipulated, vulnerable beings who can only cry out of pain and fear. And the step mother was not just evil in nature, she was also a wanton, never a loyal wife to the husband. Why do I have to recall all this? Because I think if someone starts nicknaming you as "Step Mother" - that is an insult to the extreme! But we dont simply label people when they have proper names - unless they deserved to be labeled! Another thing, are we like the chidren of those days? Can we tolerate being bullied, ordered around like slaves or treated like garbage? But then what did we do about all this bullying, ill treatment, disrespectful behaviour?

What about crocodiles? There is nothing wrong being a crocodile if you are hatched out of a crocodile's egg and live in the river. It is the traits of a crocodile to bask under the sun, mouth wide open, jaw agap, or swimming or submerge under water waiting for the right moment to attack and kill. They feed on carcasses, wood, plastic, anything and everything! So, locally the term crocodile is used to describe men with 'specific' (I think) nature.

How do you respond to the remark made by someone?......

"You should see how easily swayed the step mum is by compliments made by the buaya men!"

There will come 'the day' when everyone has to answer for everything they do, good or bad!
O Allah, forgive us for all our sins, amin!

The quantum of solace

Today for the hundred time, I am reading the same issue – aesthetic! What is aesthetic appreciation? Then when I looked out of the window, I saw the sky. It was raining a few hours ago but the sun is shining now. And at 4.35 p.m. it is hot. These few days, shine or rain, I have been going through this subject matter – completing my report.

Amazingly, the sky evokes emotions that I cant really describe with words. As I continue watching, the different shades and hues of white and blue, the golden and silvery lines look like fine broken thread here and there( not many just a few), give the impact of something majestic – beyond the talent of any artist in this mortal world. Isn’t that a sign? The Exhibitions of endless creations – sometimes soothing, calming and comforting; at times warning, threatening; once in while destroying! Inevitably, one will have to admit the existence of the One and Only Creator.

Then trying to relate what I am seeing here, now at this moment, how do I explain appreciation? Because the word ‘appreciate’ suddenly become small, so small that it couldn’t explain anything I felt. Maybe that is why we use appreciation for aesthetic – something which is not much. When in art – people are making such a big fuss over this worldly matter. I can name so many philosophers with their so many ideas and theories of aesthetic and artwork and beauty and ugly and craft and etc. Way, way back from Pluto, Socrates, Kant, Tolstoy, Dewey, Danto,….. the list can go on and on. From the Institutional school of thoughts to the most modern one today…. No one can really come up with a definition that truly describe the art that human created, how do we describe God’s creations.

Definitely, there’ll be time when people find peace just by looking at a painting. But will it last? Will that same person feel the same way looking at the same painting the second or the third time? Because artists can only paint what they ‘think’ they see. And the paintings will be there, over the years and decades if nothing happen to them. But there will never be the same tint, shade and hue of the sky even though you go to the same spot, at the same time everyday. So how do we write our aesthetic appreciation of the sky that is applicable everyday, unlike an aesthetic appreciation of a painting.

So what words can be used? Appreciate? Appreciation? Gratitude? Gratification? Thankful? But then, all these words are still meaningless if our actions do not show that we acknowledge the Existence and Power of the Creator – beyond explanation, beyond comprehension, way, way beyond!!!

Allahu Akbar GOD is THE GREATEST
Ya Rahman irham da’fana
O COMPASSIONATE, have mercy upon us

For all the wrong that you've made right!

What do we say to;
i) vision.
Someone who has very little money but living lavishly like the rich. All the while, managed to do so with the support given by a loving family – understanding spouse who laboured out of love,-(most of the time blindly)-children who sacrificed out of ‘respect’ (not sure if they are sincere) and probably fear. And dreams and visions of becoming rich and to be able to indulge in luxury continue – a never ending quest for material wealth. But the guilt is always there. Saying over and over again, “someday our lives will be better, I will find ways to make it up to all, and provide for the family.” “ We will be rich, I WANT to be rich!”

ii) good intentions

I am going to marry this lady – a divorcee. She is older than me. But she has some businesses and is doing really well. She will give you a car, look at the one I am driving now and she has a few more. And she does not mind if I spend only 2 days a week with her. She is just lonely. You can keep all your salary now and I can even give you some more every month. Our lives will be better! I am doing this for you and our family! Trust me. My love for you will never change, I promise!

And
iii) execution

This is your car. I have submitted the form. Her son helped me with all the documents plus an extra pay slip from his company. All I need now is for you to say yes in front of the judge!

- so this is just one side of the story. (Sorry, this is not my personal experience – just someone I know)

So, adakah niat menghalalkan cara?

This is just a scenario. In business, politic, everywhere I see people doing things they ‘considered’ right as long as they get what they want!

which one - mana satu ye?

Who are we? Who am I? What is hypocriscy? What makes someone a hypocrite?Is it the same as in Islam- we call it - munafik? It crosses my mind when I went to the bank yesterday to made payment for a loan which was not really mine but unfortunately has my name to it. Funny sometimes, when you have to go through changes in life when you did opt for that, EVERYTHING else changed too. Of course these changes occured because it was human who changed. Familiar things became aliens, families became enemies, sweet memories turned into painfully bitter memories - then in came the saying - "promises are only meant to be broken".


Forget about the time when you have to go through transition and adapting to new life and surrounding (let aside - the tears, sleepless night, bla,bla,bla....)- Okay, you survived. Then you learnt, ( -of course the hard way-) you had drained so much energy, wasted so much time over something unworthy. The earth will not stop spinning just because you are sad, no public holiday will be given just because you are grieving.

But then when you thought that you are happy again, life is even better probably, things of the past came haunting you back like - a stray hantu raya looking for a new master-! Memang hantu! Kadang-kadang terfikirlah siapakah orang yang pernah kita kenali dulu? Betulkah itu orang yang sama? Tapi mengapa zalim sangat dia ni? Buta benar ke mata kita sampai tak dapat membayangkan tentang tergamaknya dia menzalimi kita lagi walaupun kita duduk di dunia yang berbeza sekarang. We are not even neighbours! So, terfikirlah, bolehkah seseorang berpura-pura selama berbelas-belas tahun sehingga dia sendiri percaya dengan lakonannnya? Mungkin betul jugak.


Dan teringatlah pada EHSAN atau Ikhsan? Why do we always forget that we are never alone! Never! Lupa ke yang we are being watched? If we do not see thing, does it mean, it is not there? Tak juga kan? Kita tak melihat angin, tapi dia ada, kerana kita merasakanya. Dapatkah kita melihat fikiran dan perasaan sendiri? Tak kan? Tapi dia ada! Then, if we dont see God, there is no God?


It is sad, when you have good expectation of people, they let you down - they are not what you think they are. Of course, being human, nobody is perfect - not even near perfect- but......... Ye lah kalau orang fikir surely there'll be no crime committed. No point talking!


And what about alter-ego. I dont see anything wrong with having an alter ego. I have one, maybe two, three....? Not split personality!!!! Just another side of me, maybe a better one, or maybe not..... isnt that what I am doing now? Whatever!


Suddenly terfikir pula tentang pilihan dalam hidup ini. Do we have any option or choice or terus aje meletakkan apa saja pada segala yang telah ditakdirkan? Kalau macam tu kita tak payah buat apa-apa, tunggu dan lihat sahaja kan. Sebab kita akhirnya akan kata - everything is pre- determined!


Ye ke begitu? Sorry, I don't 100% believe that! Why say 100%, why not say - I don't believe that at all? Because..... kerapkali tindakan yang kita ambil itu, kita sendiri kurang yakin akan hasilnya. Kadang-kadang hati kita berkata-kata semasa kita nak buat sesuatu. Ya, memang, kata hati tiada bahasa, tapi kita fahamkan? Sudah tentu orang lain tak akan mengerti jika kita tak terjemahkan kata hati dengan perkataan yang keluar dari mulut kita, tapi when we are alone we still communicate with ourselves... I do! There were times when, I had doubt over things, how I handled them, but that did not stop me from doing what I wanted to do.... itu ikut hati la (atau ikut nafsu?)... and banyak kali lah ianya di ikuti dengan sesalan.


Jangan menyesal? Mengapa tidak, jika apa yang kita buat itu, kita tau salah pada agama, itu namanya zalim pada diri sendiri! Dan adakalanya, bila kita berhenti sejenak dan berfikir sebelum membuat keputusan, istikharah, put your hand to your heart, what does it say? Kalau hasilnya tak begitu membahagiakan, at least we did pause, think and consider..... so it was fated!


And if something happened to you, unexpectedly, without you or anyone planning it, then it is fated right? But what do you say to someone who went riding on his motorbike at top speed, without helmet on and died because he (sorry for using he- usually 'mat' rempit kan) could'nt avoid a cow crossing the road - is that takdir? Or would you say, that was what he wanted being a 'mat rempit'?

Apa-apa sajalah kan. Tapi apa yang saya selalu dengar di radio IKIM, antaranya:


-Cintailah siapa saja yang kau yang kau cintai tapi ingatlah satu hari kau akan berpisah dengannya

-Hiduplah apa saja cara yang kau ingini tapi ingatlah satu hari kau akan mati

- lagi apa ye? tak berapa pasti, tak ingat

Are we at the right place?

There are times when I asked myself, “What am I doing here?” I guess many of us had gone through this (assuming)- Tak tahu kenapalah kita mesti berada di sini – when being elsewhere is better.

Well, that is what I am going through now. And sitting here, in this room without tv nor radio neither is there internet connection (the broadband is just an added weight to the ‘already’ heavy load I’m carrying), I am trying really hard to figure out why do I end up here. I am not a team member, nor working in ‘that’ department, has very little knowledge of matters I am responsible to and I am not enjoying any of the ‘happening’ events here. I DON’T belong here. I should be somewhere else contributing “sincerely” mind, heart, body and soul to other people and matters that really matter! ( jUST FOR info i had to type this standing in the balcony while balancing the laptop after moving here and there looking for signal - the broadband did help !)

Yet, here I am, feeling depressed, miserable and most of all I am TERRIBLY lonely! Some of the things that I thought as just my ‘wants’ now become ‘needs’! It is a life necessity for me to live! Being with the crowd drained me of energy, I cant focus and the surroundings reminded of something I’ve been deprived of for quite some times now.

Mungkin susah juga bila sendiri percaya bahawa kita harus cuba menolong orang semampu yang terdaya kerana selagi kita diperlukan, itu adalah nikmat dan anugerah kerana bila tiba ketika kita tidak diperlukan maka itu adalah ujian dan musibah yang amat menyedihkan. Mungkin juga pengalaman hidup, membuat seseorang berfikiran begini. Ya memang sedih, bila kita tak diperlukan lagi kan…. Itu pengalaman sendiri! Tapi dalam suasana ini, I suddenly realized that .Yes, I am needed here, but I don’t want to be here… so, here goes the ‘need’ and the ‘want’ again! What you need is not necessarily my need and what I want is not necessarily your want. Then, compromise is the keyword! Compromising does not mean one take advantage of another or taking people for granted.

But I don’t feel that people are taking advantage of me. Nobody can force me to do what I refuse to do. But how do I force myself not to be so obliging and easily succumb to persuasion….. Now, suddenly, I realized that many times I turned down invitation and friends who meant well…. (not gonna say) when I shouldn’t. Am I being selfish now, when suddenly I realized if only I have accepted……
Aaaaah, it was just not meant to be! Kerana diakhirnya diri ini tetap percaya, apa saja yang telah ditakdirkan untuk mu akan mengenaimu dan apa yang tidak ditakdirkan, sama sekali tidak akan menimpamu. Oh... I really,desperately need Divine Intervension here!

JUST LIKE THESE LINES I READ IN MY EMAIL….

Smooth roads never make good drivers
Smooth sea never makes good sailors
Clear Skies never makes good Pilots .

Problem and hassle free Life NEVER makes a strong person
Be Strong enough to accept the challenges of Life
Don't ask Life , 'Why Me ? .
Instead say 'try Me!' Try QIRAATI

Sharing- did we really do that?

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIME…………
Posted: 09 Jul 2008 09:26 PM CDT
GEORGE CARLIN (His wife recently died...)
Isn't it amazing that George Carlin-shock comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate.

A Message by George Carlin:The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Thank you for reading my stuff :)

I received this in my email last year and I really admire the wisdom of this man. So I am sharing this with everyone.

Melukut di tepi, Basmati dalam Gantang?

Sedar tak sedar, another day passed by. Another complete circle around the sun. Di mana kita? Zaman orang Malaysia menggunakan pepatah 'Melukut di tepi gantang' dah lama berlalu. Teringat ini, while sending short sms to a friend who is so wise, that she can make my day brighter just by sending me a few words! Sekarang istilah apa yang kita guna ye? Apa kelas? Takde Kelas? Tak pasti kalau maknanya sama. Tapi jika seorang yang sangat hebat ilmunya belajar dari seorang yang ilmu nya sikit-sikit je jatuhke tarafnya? But then what can one learn from someone who has no knowledge or wisdom? What? What is it that differentiate antara padi, melukut, beras, then beras perang la. herba ponni la or basmati? Is it the grain? Or the breed? Or the origin?

Boleh ke label manusia macam beras? I remember receiving an email about 'ikan yang mana kita nak pilih'- which I forwarded to friends because I find it interesting... Tapi pada beras kita boleh melihat bentuk dan sifatnya, kita boleh cari perbezaan pada khasiatnya dan kita boleh rasa keenakannya (ikut rasa), boleh ke buat begitu pada manusia? Susah sikitla, boleh juga kalau sanggup... tak dapat gambarkan.

Tapi yang pasti dari bentuk fizikal that is size, skin colour, height, etc, can we differentiate the quality of a person? Or from family background, or...........? Entahlah. Through experience, I learnt that there is no guarantee-(if one came out from the womb of a good woman and fathered by an honourable man- the person can be worse than another who were conceived and delivered by a prostitute who was not even sure which man is the father of the baby )-do forgive me for the bad example. But then life experience can be a cruel teacher-you learnt a lot, no doubt - but you have to suffer before you get the lesson!

Back to the 'gantang'! Itulah perasaanya bila rasa diri ini tak diperlukan lagi, tapi sekarang beras hancur pun mahal tau, buat ketupat atau nasi impit, sedap! Bila tak ada kepentingan pada sesiapa - sesama manusia yang kita kenal pun boleh hilang biasa. Jadi tak biasa.... Kenapa manusia yang punya hanya satu hati sahaja boleh ubah perangai 1001 macam. Orang yang biasa disanjung dan dipuja semasa ada jawatan pun, boleh disepak teranjang bila tak ada kuasa lagi. Tengokla dunia politik kalau tak percaya.

Tapi boleh ke beras melukut berubah menjadi beras basmati?

A Year's work - in just a day!

Well, what do you know, I am the chosen one - to be audited! There goes my day! Where are my files, where are all the letters, memos, minutes, bla bla bla..........
And as usual time flies when you are desperately in need of more. How I wished I have another day to finish up, they are coming tomorrow... definitely I am dead meat! Gosh, what else is coming my way, many times without fail, I would grumble and complaint - but then look! There is always that silver lining in every cloud? Blessing in disguise? Hidden Benefit? What?

Isn't that great? By the end of the day, I had sorted out everything and discovered all the missing things and managed my files and up dated my job specs and........ and...... and........ Oh wow! In just a day, I managed to do so many things. And yet I complaint! There I go again, being an ingrate, what is happening here. Did you lend your heart and brain to someone? Can't you see that God is forever watching you without fail.

In His own generous way, he chooses you among the many so that you ll sit down and do things you have been neglegting for months. There are so many people in the department, yet you had to do it. Why? Because He is making sure that whatever income -you take home and feed your family -is clean and pure, you are entitle to every sen...... that builds up the flesh and blood of your beloved family members, tiada yang syubahah! Masyaallah! Subhanallah!

Then, flashing back... a few weeks ago, I was really buried in work and was so tensed up. I stopped doing what I used to do daily.... reading a few lines of the Holy Quran. And my health was affected.... had bad diarrhea, fainted in the bathroom and was on medical leave for a week. Still, there was no room for complaint because during my absence my duty was taken over by other people and the job was done.... the best part was I got back my daily routine!

Oh God do listen to prayers!!!

A Journey - Once Too Many!

Hari ni saya balik semula ke KL setelah balik bercuti sempena Maulidur Rasul s.a.w. Hari lahir manusia paling hebat yang pernah diciptakan Allah di atas mukabumi ini. Tak taulah apa penghayatan kita semua pada hari ini. Walau sebenarnya, saya tahu bahawa Rasulullah s.a.w mesti kita kenang dan kasihi setiap hari selepas Maha Suci Allah Azzawajala. Masih cuba mendakwah diri sendiri, dan inilah yang paling susah. Teringat zaman "jahiliyah" saya dulu, syukurnya Allah masih panjangkan umur dan dapat berhijrah ke zaman cahaya walaupun saya menilai diri ini hina dina, jika manusia tahu apa yang Allah tahu dan saya tahu tentang diri sendiri, mungkin tiada yang mahu memandang diri ini walaupun sebelah mata. Semoga Allah menerima taubat saya.



Berbalik kepada journey balik ke KL dari kampong, jalan yang sama, hari yang berbeza tetapi setiap kali pergi dan kembali pengalaman tetap berbeza dan pasti ada ujian kecil atau besar hanya diri sendiri menilai, Allah juga Maha Mengetahui hikmah di sebalik apa yang berlaku.

Hari ni tayar depan sebelah penumpang pancit. Alhamdulillah, I was not alone. My brother with his family was right behind me in another car. So, it was not difficult at all to change tyre with a man's strength! Sekali lagi, alhamdulillah, Allah Most Merciful!



Many times, I travelled alone and had accidents. Reflecting..... last year, the same car, I lost control (but it was technical fault)- skidded and hit the cliff not once but twice! Alhamdulillah, I was only emotionally injured nothing physical! The car was badly damaged. But help came really fast ., in less than 30 minutes. Made acquaintance with the tow truck driver. Nice young chap, very helpful indeed! MayAllah bless you with kindness too. And the same reliable brother came and picked me up and sent me home. InsyaAllah, God bless you and your family too. Then, in February, someone drove right onto my bumper at a junction - a bit shaken but still no injury! Allah has always been kind to me, couldn't complain at all. Then, I'll be what-Kufur Nikmat? Nauzubillah! Diri ini, ingin sentiasa menjadi hamba yang mensyukuri! Saya rasa yakin dengan amalan harian saya Doa Abu Darda -kerana fadhilatnya adalah hebat!



Bercakap tentang, journey ini, melalui jalan yang sama, kereta di Malaysia ni, MasyaAllah, banyaknya dan hebat-hebat belaka. Dan seperti biasalah kalau cuti hujung minggu yang panjang pasti jalan sesak dan kemalangan berlaku. Laluan kecemasan menjadi laluan pintas bagi mereka yang kurang sabar. Mengapalah agaknya Malaysians behave the way they do! Semua benda nak pantas dan pintas, nak shortcut. Kenapa agaknya?



Dan teringatlah sejarah perjuangan Rasulullah s.a.w. Insan agung ini melalui very difficult journey but he had never given up or complaint - only prayers along the way. And through the years his journey finally reached us, here, why cant we be grateful and show our gratitude by following his teaching - the best that we could. Am preaching to myself again! God, lead me to the right path, show me the right move and give me strength to change and be good, for many times in this journey I got lost and went astray...and yet You are always there warning me in Your own ways to turn back and start again.... and again........ even though I had encountered 3 incidences of flat tyre... I was never alone...... You as always takes good care of me..... O Allah, forgive me for my sins and grant me, my wishes, Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin!

Writer's Block and Confused Mind

It is kind of funny when you have so many things to say but you dont know how to express the feelings, ideas and opinions. Everything seemed to be jumbled up or tangled. And in the end, you stop and just give up. That is what I am going through now. Baca lagi, baca lagi, tapi macamana nak luahkan ye? Susahnya, memulakan sebaris ayat bagi penulisan ilmiah, sama macam tiada apa yang boleh diluahkan walaupun kajian dan research has been going on for almost two years and collection of materials would probably be enough to fill up one thousand page of report. So is that what they call writer's block or my mind is just too confused with the many things I've learnt and the many things that cropped up just because I am still alive and going through normal routines and problems in life. How does one managed to take things easy and lead a happy life and publish books and write and work and do all, without fail, when every tiny things disturbed me and caused me to lose concentration. Tak boleh fokus. Peningnya!



So, my students can't really rely on me for help. I am a hopeless person. Susahnya mendidik diri sendiri. Bagaimana nak mendidik orang lain. Dan bagaimana dengan penggunaan bahasa rojak ni? Sekejap english sekejap bm. Salah ke? Kalau nak guna dua-dua boleh tak? Tapi menggunakan bahasa yang betul bagi kedua-duanya, mungkin bolehkan. Apa yang silap adalah menggunakan bahasa tapi tidak berbahasa. I m not sure about any of these. My problem now is how do I put aside other problems and focus on what I am supposed to do, that is writing my project paper which has been neglected for more than three months.



Trying to concrentrate seems to be the hardest thing...... and forcing myself to write end up in bad headache and gastritis. Well, I am not going to force myself anymore. Forget about the report. Somehow, I know, God will help me... somehow. Dia yang Maha Mengerti dan Mengetahui betapa lemahnya jiwa ini. Aduhai!

Bagaimana agaknya pelajar-pelajar menghadapi kerja-kerja kursus mereka ye.