Kerana mulut!

Okay today we are going to talk about the mouth. Yes, the mouth! We can use our mouth for so many things but mostly we use it to eat and to talk! Right? Right…… I smile a lot, with my mouth too!

But today, I was angry…. Only smoke didn’t come out of my mouth, words were out from it, fast and furious! I am only human, and a weak one, unfortunately, and sebab iman pun nipis je, tambahan hormon tak berapa bagus (yea…yea… blame it on everything else but yourself) so I really put my foot in my mouth this time! Literally, rasanya tak mampu nak buat macam tu, masukkan kaki dalam mulut, baby boleh lah dan orang akan kata, dah boleh dapat adik tu… fasal dah pandai hisap jari kaki. Apa la orang ni kan?!! Tapi, banyak la kesalan hari ni sebab ikut bisikan syaitan dan hati yang marah. So, now I regret saying some of the things I said earlier. I know it was wrong. Memang lah salah kalau orang yang sepatutnya mengendalikan meeting, yang berkuasa, yang berpangkat suruh kita panggil meeting lepas tu, semua lesap tak hadir tanpa memaklumkan patik pacal yang hina ni… (langsung tak fasal-fasal had to chair the meeting)… but still, kita kena tenang dan menerimanya sebagai ujian. I did handle the meeting and it was okay, I think…. But I grumbled about the situation to a few colleagues.

So, I am honestly down in the mouth. Semoga Allah ampunkan kita dan orang-orang yang kita marah tu. I think I shouldn’t bad mouth people. Tak baik betul. Then, I was thinking should I go and apologize to these people? For saying that they are irresponsible and unacceptable for leaving me clueless of their whereabouts when earlier they’ve instructed me to call for the meeting? Do I have the courage to confront them and ask why did they leave me to handle the meeting? And do I have the courage to tell them what I said about them and ask for forgiveness? The thought alone caused me to shudder.

Eeee… takut! Itulah, Rasulullah s.a.w. dah pesan jangan marah, jangan ikut nafsu. Tak fasal-fasal kita bagi pahala kat orang walaupun kita yang kena kerja. Kan ke bodoh macam tu! Lepas tu bayangkan jika, marah kita di sampaikan kepada orang lain dan orang yang berkenaan, word of mouth spreading like wildfire in the bush! (Fuyooo… simile- boleh buat perbandingan lagi walaupun sedang risau!). Lepas tu nak sedap cerita di tambah pulak…. Putting words in my mouth! Mak oooiii….. seramnya makcik! Bukan takut Allah sahaja kerana dah berdosa marah dan mengumpat, takut juga dengan reaksi orang-orang ni! Sungguh-sungguh seram….!!!

This experience definitely left a bad taste in my mouth. Oh God do forgive me and forgive them, maybe they really have to go urgently and maybe they would understand my predicament to forgive me. I think I’ll go and take a bath. I have been running my mouth long enough today and it should stop! See, it is so easy to tell people- chin up, whatever you have two, keep them open! And whatever you have one keep it shut!- and what did I do today? Astaghafirullahilazim!