Okay today we are going to talk about the mouth. Yes, the mouth! We can use our mouth for so many things but mostly we use it to eat and to talk! Right? Right…… I smile a lot, with my mouth too!
But today, I was angry…. Only smoke didn’t come out of my mouth, words were out from it, fast and furious! I am only human, and a weak one, unfortunately, and sebab iman pun nipis je, tambahan hormon tak berapa bagus (yea…yea… blame it on everything else but yourself) so I really put my foot in my mouth this time! Literally, rasanya tak mampu nak buat macam tu, masukkan kaki dalam mulut, baby boleh lah dan orang akan kata, dah boleh dapat adik tu… fasal dah pandai hisap jari kaki. Apa la orang ni kan?!! Tapi, banyak la kesalan hari ni sebab ikut bisikan syaitan dan hati yang marah. So, now I regret saying some of the things I said earlier. I know it was wrong. Memang lah salah kalau orang yang sepatutnya mengendalikan meeting, yang berkuasa, yang berpangkat suruh kita panggil meeting lepas tu, semua lesap tak hadir tanpa memaklumkan patik pacal yang hina ni… (langsung tak fasal-fasal had to chair the meeting)… but still, kita kena tenang dan menerimanya sebagai ujian. I did handle the meeting and it was okay, I think…. But I grumbled about the situation to a few colleagues.
So, I am honestly down in the mouth. Semoga Allah ampunkan kita dan orang-orang yang kita marah tu. I think I shouldn’t bad mouth people. Tak baik betul. Then, I was thinking should I go and apologize to these people? For saying that they are irresponsible and unacceptable for leaving me clueless of their whereabouts when earlier they’ve instructed me to call for the meeting? Do I have the courage to confront them and ask why did they leave me to handle the meeting? And do I have the courage to tell them what I said about them and ask for forgiveness? The thought alone caused me to shudder.
Eeee… takut! Itulah, Rasulullah s.a.w. dah pesan jangan marah, jangan ikut nafsu. Tak fasal-fasal kita bagi pahala kat orang walaupun kita yang kena kerja. Kan ke bodoh macam tu! Lepas tu bayangkan jika, marah kita di sampaikan kepada orang lain dan orang yang berkenaan, word of mouth spreading like wildfire in the bush! (Fuyooo… simile- boleh buat perbandingan lagi walaupun sedang risau!). Lepas tu nak sedap cerita di tambah pulak…. Putting words in my mouth! Mak oooiii….. seramnya makcik! Bukan takut Allah sahaja kerana dah berdosa marah dan mengumpat, takut juga dengan reaksi orang-orang ni! Sungguh-sungguh seram….!!!
This experience definitely left a bad taste in my mouth. Oh God do forgive me and forgive them, maybe they really have to go urgently and maybe they would understand my predicament to forgive me. I think I’ll go and take a bath. I have been running my mouth long enough today and it should stop! See, it is so easy to tell people- chin up, whatever you have two, keep them open! And whatever you have one keep it shut!- and what did I do today? Astaghafirullahilazim!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
I think you need an injection laaa.....
“Maam! Can you explain interjection?”
Errr, interjection? Wow, that is interesting! I love interjection. Emmm….. how do I start yeah?
Okay let us talk about our heart? Why? Well, because the heart is my favourite subject and organ. Ouch! That hurts!
What? Oh, it was just my heart, broken apart…. Hu hu hu, I am really sad and breathing becomes difficult with such heavy heart. Umph…. Where were we? Oh, okay lets get to the heart of the matter, interjection!
Okay, no fear… take heart, interjection is easy. Phew…there’s a lot of heart right? If you have a change of heart before we finish discussing interjection, do tell me heart to heart. Oh, I don’t mind! I am a kind hearted person although my heart is not made of gold you can say I have a heart of gold! ( Oh dear, I am arrogant and a ‘perasan’ one!) Sure, I going to tell all I know about interjection – cross my heart- ( I am a muslim and I wont do that sign but you do understand, don’t you?) because I had my heart set on teaching you about interjection today!
Hey! Look at that boy! Oh dear, my heart goes out to him. Look! He is so thin, errr… should we go and help him? No? Ooo… we are in a middle of a lesson, yeah, the interjection!
Yeah, right! Interjection is…..ump, err… meaningless word that describe emotion when you use them, err….they are often very short word that is used with exclamation mark! Sometimes when there is hesitation before saying the next word you insert interjection! Honestly! From the bottom of my heart, I am ..err… telling you the truth. Alas, your heart is not in the right place or you have a heart of stone, that you accused me of making this up? Oh dear me, my heart skip a beat when I saw you looking at me like that! Ah… that is much better, I know, at heart you are a nice person!
Well, I think that is all about interjection! Yeah, from the bottom of my heart, I swear to you, really! With all my heart that was the only explanation I could give regarding interjection! Huh? I caused you to lose heart? I did aaa….. but… you asked about interjection right? And I’ve given you the explanation and examples, right? Now do I need to wear my heart on my sleeve to show and explain how I am feeling and thinking right now? Aaaa….. say what?
Ah? Do you want me to talk about the brain? My other, err….favourite organ? Uh, sure you have one aaaa…..?
Errr, interjection? Wow, that is interesting! I love interjection. Emmm….. how do I start yeah?
Okay let us talk about our heart? Why? Well, because the heart is my favourite subject and organ. Ouch! That hurts!
What? Oh, it was just my heart, broken apart…. Hu hu hu, I am really sad and breathing becomes difficult with such heavy heart. Umph…. Where were we? Oh, okay lets get to the heart of the matter, interjection!
Okay, no fear… take heart, interjection is easy. Phew…there’s a lot of heart right? If you have a change of heart before we finish discussing interjection, do tell me heart to heart. Oh, I don’t mind! I am a kind hearted person although my heart is not made of gold you can say I have a heart of gold! ( Oh dear, I am arrogant and a ‘perasan’ one!) Sure, I going to tell all I know about interjection – cross my heart- ( I am a muslim and I wont do that sign but you do understand, don’t you?) because I had my heart set on teaching you about interjection today!
Hey! Look at that boy! Oh dear, my heart goes out to him. Look! He is so thin, errr… should we go and help him? No? Ooo… we are in a middle of a lesson, yeah, the interjection!
Yeah, right! Interjection is…..ump, err… meaningless word that describe emotion when you use them, err….they are often very short word that is used with exclamation mark! Sometimes when there is hesitation before saying the next word you insert interjection! Honestly! From the bottom of my heart, I am ..err… telling you the truth. Alas, your heart is not in the right place or you have a heart of stone, that you accused me of making this up? Oh dear me, my heart skip a beat when I saw you looking at me like that! Ah… that is much better, I know, at heart you are a nice person!
Well, I think that is all about interjection! Yeah, from the bottom of my heart, I swear to you, really! With all my heart that was the only explanation I could give regarding interjection! Huh? I caused you to lose heart? I did aaa….. but… you asked about interjection right? And I’ve given you the explanation and examples, right? Now do I need to wear my heart on my sleeve to show and explain how I am feeling and thinking right now? Aaaa….. say what?
Ah? Do you want me to talk about the brain? My other, err….favourite organ? Uh, sure you have one aaaa…..?
jom fikirkan!
I went to my brother’s place today and spent my day there. Enjoyed myself and today, I saw a program on tv, rancangan mengumpat dan menceritakan aib orang dan cerita-cerita peribadi orang. Some highlighted issues which I feel shouldn’t be brought by the media to the public. We are in Malaysia yet I felt (there and then) like I was in Hollywood – couldn’t think of anything holy there! Don’t see any education purpose in discussing other people’s marriages, not very decent behaviour, shameful things…. Imagine yourself being the subject matter!!!
Tak takut ke, lidah membawa ke neraka? Aib kita nanti dibuka dan didedahkan? Seram sendiri. Dan pada yang diluar sana dan yang menulis ni, marilah kita jaga tingkahlaku dan perangai kita. Kalau orang lain tak tahu, Tuhan tetap tahu juga. Tapi negara kita ni- (alhamdulillah dalam amannya) - banyak sungguh ujian akhir zaman yang kita kadang-kadang tutup aje mata kita dan ignore. Apa nak jadi dengan kita dan masyarakat kita ye? Baca suratkhabar kisah “suami beli” jadi pak sanggup untuk wanita terlanjur, budak sekolah bergusti, selsema babi, kahwin lari, macam-macam.... ngeri betul kita.
Macamana kita nak jaga anak-anak kita dari perkara-perkara macam ni? Sebab semua benda yang dilarang agama semuanya di langgar dan di buat. Lagi kata jangan lagi hebat perlakuannya. Kenapa ye? Dalam konteks kekeluargaan pula, suami ada yang baik sangat perangai dan tingkahlakunya, isteri hebat dan brutal gitu. Ada isteri yang baik dan alim, suami macam crook dalam filem, jahat melampau dan ada juga pasangan yang kelihatan bahagia bersama tapi.... tak kisah apa pasangan nak buat. Ada yang tayang gambar suami isteri bersantai dengan pakaian yang hanya fakir papa kedana sahaja mungkin mengalaminya... tak cukup nak cover pusat yang kecik aje tu...(fakir macam tu belum pernah kita nampak sepanjang hayat kita, yang baju lusuh dan koyak bertampal, ada la).
Tak kisah langsung. Esok israk&mikraj, mengenang perjalanan insan mulia Rasulullah s.a.w. diutus mengadap Tuhan yang satu yang berkuasa atas segalanya. Terbayang cerita-cerita Rasulullah s.a.w. tentang apa yang dilihat di neraka. Kita dengar dan baca tapi apa yang kita buat ye? Kalau kita sayang suami kita, apa tanda sayang kita? Dan kalau suami sayang isteri, apa tandanya? Kalau boleh sudah tentu kita akan jaga agar tiada apa-apa yang buruk berlaku pada pasangan kita kan? Kita akan pastikan anak-anak kita selamat dan terdidik untuk bahagia selamanya.
Wahai suami, sayangilah isteri anda dengan mendidik mereka mengikut acuan agama dan wahai isteri, sayangi suami dengan mengikut perintahnya selagi ianya bukan melanggar hak Allah dan ajaran agama dan hargailah ia seadanya. Dan wahai ibubapa, sayangi anak-anak dengan beri mereka ilmu agama yang berterusan, bukan setakat belajar mengaji dan mengenal huruf Al Quran, ajar mereka mengerti isinya.
Jom kita ingat-mengingatkan. Dan sempena hari mulia ini, kita memohon kemaafan dari semua jika kita melukai sesiapa pun.... semoga kita terpelihara dari fitnah dunia dan akhirat atau menjadi fitnah dunia dan akhirat. Amin.
Tak takut ke, lidah membawa ke neraka? Aib kita nanti dibuka dan didedahkan? Seram sendiri. Dan pada yang diluar sana dan yang menulis ni, marilah kita jaga tingkahlaku dan perangai kita. Kalau orang lain tak tahu, Tuhan tetap tahu juga. Tapi negara kita ni- (alhamdulillah dalam amannya) - banyak sungguh ujian akhir zaman yang kita kadang-kadang tutup aje mata kita dan ignore. Apa nak jadi dengan kita dan masyarakat kita ye? Baca suratkhabar kisah “suami beli” jadi pak sanggup untuk wanita terlanjur, budak sekolah bergusti, selsema babi, kahwin lari, macam-macam.... ngeri betul kita.
Macamana kita nak jaga anak-anak kita dari perkara-perkara macam ni? Sebab semua benda yang dilarang agama semuanya di langgar dan di buat. Lagi kata jangan lagi hebat perlakuannya. Kenapa ye? Dalam konteks kekeluargaan pula, suami ada yang baik sangat perangai dan tingkahlakunya, isteri hebat dan brutal gitu. Ada isteri yang baik dan alim, suami macam crook dalam filem, jahat melampau dan ada juga pasangan yang kelihatan bahagia bersama tapi.... tak kisah apa pasangan nak buat. Ada yang tayang gambar suami isteri bersantai dengan pakaian yang hanya fakir papa kedana sahaja mungkin mengalaminya... tak cukup nak cover pusat yang kecik aje tu...(fakir macam tu belum pernah kita nampak sepanjang hayat kita, yang baju lusuh dan koyak bertampal, ada la).
Tak kisah langsung. Esok israk&mikraj, mengenang perjalanan insan mulia Rasulullah s.a.w. diutus mengadap Tuhan yang satu yang berkuasa atas segalanya. Terbayang cerita-cerita Rasulullah s.a.w. tentang apa yang dilihat di neraka. Kita dengar dan baca tapi apa yang kita buat ye? Kalau kita sayang suami kita, apa tanda sayang kita? Dan kalau suami sayang isteri, apa tandanya? Kalau boleh sudah tentu kita akan jaga agar tiada apa-apa yang buruk berlaku pada pasangan kita kan? Kita akan pastikan anak-anak kita selamat dan terdidik untuk bahagia selamanya.
Wahai suami, sayangilah isteri anda dengan mendidik mereka mengikut acuan agama dan wahai isteri, sayangi suami dengan mengikut perintahnya selagi ianya bukan melanggar hak Allah dan ajaran agama dan hargailah ia seadanya. Dan wahai ibubapa, sayangi anak-anak dengan beri mereka ilmu agama yang berterusan, bukan setakat belajar mengaji dan mengenal huruf Al Quran, ajar mereka mengerti isinya.
Jom kita ingat-mengingatkan. Dan sempena hari mulia ini, kita memohon kemaafan dari semua jika kita melukai sesiapa pun.... semoga kita terpelihara dari fitnah dunia dan akhirat atau menjadi fitnah dunia dan akhirat. Amin.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
mysterious us!
Susahnya nak memahami orang! Naik stress jadinya. Rasanya tak adalah kita buat apa-apa tapi tiba-tiba aje muncung dengan kita. Susah betul. Penat jugak nak muhasabah diri… apa yang aku buat tadi. Sebut pasal muncung teringat pulak ada kawan cakap kat kita , “aku kadang-kadang takut nak tegur engkau sebab nampak muncung aje, good mood ke bad mood!” Hello kawan, muncung kita ni original tau. Dah trademark nak buat macam mana, janganlah gitu… muncung-muncung pun ada lawa tau (he he he he) itu la kita masa mesra pun muncung, kalau marah, kata orang boleh di ikat muncung tu macam orang belit mulut buaya. Eee… melampau la engkorang ni. Bukan kah Allah jadikan kita, bukan kita pergi plastic surgery ke botox, tak baik tau….
Cakap fasal nak mengenali orang, adakah kita kenal diri kita? Pasti ke kita telah kenal diri kita sebenarnya? Betul ke penilaian kita tentang diri sendiri? Ada ke kita rasa kita baik? Atau kita rasa kita jahat? Ada orang sentiasa merasa rendah diri dan ada orang rasa dia tahu semua, jadi apa-apa pun mesti dia nak cakap. Kat mana kita? Entah ye. Rasanya orang lain yang boleh menilai kita lebih baik dari diri kita. Tapi kita rasa mak kita sangat memahami kita.... dan kita faham mak kita. Tapi samalah kita dan mak kita perempuan, hanya manusia, walau kita saling memahami ada masa kita lupa dan ikut nafsu... so, reaksi pada sesuatu perkara kadang-karang kurang sensitif tapi kita juga dapat mengesan bila salah seorang merasa kesal walaupun tak berapa pandai nak mintak maaf. Sebagai anak kita memang kena mintak ampun dan kita tahu mak sentiasa ampunkan dan kita maafkan emak sebab kita tak dapat nak bayar budi emak walau apa juga kebaikan yang kita buat pada dia.
Tapi bagaimana dengan pasangan kita? Pengalaman dulu, kita dapat mengesan perubahan pada emosi tapi mungkin kita kurang peka tentang tindakan yang paling baik untuk diambil pada masa itu. Dan pengalaman sendiri juga ialah bila kita biarkan dia sendiri bila melihat dia kurang tenang, itulah yang dijadikan alasan untuk menyalahkan kita. Pernah sebelumnya kita cuba tanya bila nampak dia tak tenang, kita kena marah sebab tak bagi ruang untuk dia berfikir dan bertenang. ????? Confuse kan? Bila kita tanya kenapa balik lambat sampai jam 2 pagi atau pergi mana sebab dari pagi dah keluar, malam baru balik pada hari minggu, dia marah sebab katanya semua nak kena report. Bila kita berhenti tanya, itulah juga alasan menyalahkan kita kerana katanya kita tak kisah dia nak buat apa atau pergi mana. ???????????? Sungguh mengelirukan!!!
Memang susah nak mengenali orang lain walaupun pasangan sendiri. Susah juga sebenarnya nak memahami diri kita. Sebab kadang-kadang kita tak kisah, orang bergurau, ada masa boleh jugak rasa kecil hati. Ganjil kan? Masalah apa tu? Hormon? Emosi? Hati? Tapi apapun kita perlu sentiasa melihat kedalam diri.... kata orang cermin diri dan jangan mudah menilai orang sebab dalam situasi tertentu seseorang mungkin bersikap berbeza berbanding dengan ketika yang lain. Dan ada masa kita mungkin diberi rezeki melihat sesuatu dengan mata hati bukan dengan pandangan luaran sahaja.
Teringat pulak satu English proverb…- people who live in glass houses, shouldn’t throw stone- apa ye. Maksudnya orang yang tinggal dalam rumah kaca jangan baling batu…(he he he) maaflah kita tau anda faham tapi maksud sebenarnya ialah kita kalau nak buat apa-apa pun kena lah fikir nanti memusnahkan diri sendiri juga. Kenapalah pakcik tu, muncung lagi kat aku ni? Lantak kaulah, dunia belaka ni!!!
Cakap fasal nak mengenali orang, adakah kita kenal diri kita? Pasti ke kita telah kenal diri kita sebenarnya? Betul ke penilaian kita tentang diri sendiri? Ada ke kita rasa kita baik? Atau kita rasa kita jahat? Ada orang sentiasa merasa rendah diri dan ada orang rasa dia tahu semua, jadi apa-apa pun mesti dia nak cakap. Kat mana kita? Entah ye. Rasanya orang lain yang boleh menilai kita lebih baik dari diri kita. Tapi kita rasa mak kita sangat memahami kita.... dan kita faham mak kita. Tapi samalah kita dan mak kita perempuan, hanya manusia, walau kita saling memahami ada masa kita lupa dan ikut nafsu... so, reaksi pada sesuatu perkara kadang-karang kurang sensitif tapi kita juga dapat mengesan bila salah seorang merasa kesal walaupun tak berapa pandai nak mintak maaf. Sebagai anak kita memang kena mintak ampun dan kita tahu mak sentiasa ampunkan dan kita maafkan emak sebab kita tak dapat nak bayar budi emak walau apa juga kebaikan yang kita buat pada dia.
Tapi bagaimana dengan pasangan kita? Pengalaman dulu, kita dapat mengesan perubahan pada emosi tapi mungkin kita kurang peka tentang tindakan yang paling baik untuk diambil pada masa itu. Dan pengalaman sendiri juga ialah bila kita biarkan dia sendiri bila melihat dia kurang tenang, itulah yang dijadikan alasan untuk menyalahkan kita. Pernah sebelumnya kita cuba tanya bila nampak dia tak tenang, kita kena marah sebab tak bagi ruang untuk dia berfikir dan bertenang. ????? Confuse kan? Bila kita tanya kenapa balik lambat sampai jam 2 pagi atau pergi mana sebab dari pagi dah keluar, malam baru balik pada hari minggu, dia marah sebab katanya semua nak kena report. Bila kita berhenti tanya, itulah juga alasan menyalahkan kita kerana katanya kita tak kisah dia nak buat apa atau pergi mana. ???????????? Sungguh mengelirukan!!!
Memang susah nak mengenali orang lain walaupun pasangan sendiri. Susah juga sebenarnya nak memahami diri kita. Sebab kadang-kadang kita tak kisah, orang bergurau, ada masa boleh jugak rasa kecil hati. Ganjil kan? Masalah apa tu? Hormon? Emosi? Hati? Tapi apapun kita perlu sentiasa melihat kedalam diri.... kata orang cermin diri dan jangan mudah menilai orang sebab dalam situasi tertentu seseorang mungkin bersikap berbeza berbanding dengan ketika yang lain. Dan ada masa kita mungkin diberi rezeki melihat sesuatu dengan mata hati bukan dengan pandangan luaran sahaja.
Teringat pulak satu English proverb…- people who live in glass houses, shouldn’t throw stone- apa ye. Maksudnya orang yang tinggal dalam rumah kaca jangan baling batu…(he he he) maaflah kita tau anda faham tapi maksud sebenarnya ialah kita kalau nak buat apa-apa pun kena lah fikir nanti memusnahkan diri sendiri juga. Kenapalah pakcik tu, muncung lagi kat aku ni? Lantak kaulah, dunia belaka ni!!!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Relationship - Very True & Practical!
A friend sent me this article and i find it really interesting! let us share!
This is a very good one....read on.
*
**DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON? *
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,
'How do I know if I married the right person?'
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It
depends. Is that your husband?'
In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's
weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer. *
**EVERY *relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and
liked their *idiosyncrasies *(unconventional behavior/habit).
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely
natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to *DO* anything.
That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening *TO YOU*.
People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the
imagery of that __expression.
It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then
something came along and happened *TO YOU*.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But
after a few years of marriage, the *euphoria *(excitement) of love fades.
It's the natural cycle of *EVERY *relationship. Slowly but surely, phone
calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome
(when it happens), and your spouse's *idiosyncrasies*, instead of being
cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think
about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the
right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the *euphoria* of
the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for
their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the
most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship,
excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does *NOT* lie outside your marriage. It
lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone
else. You could.
And *TEMPORARILY* you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a
few years later. *Because* (listen carefully to this): *
**THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.** *
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll
*NEVER*just happen to you. You can't 'find' *LASTING love*. You have to 'make' it day
in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.'
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes
*WISDOM*. You have to know *WHAT TO DO* to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is *NOT *a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there
are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger,
certain habits in your relationship * **WILL* make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love.
Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... *Not* just a feeling.
Remember this always: *
**'God determines who walks into your **life**.** **It is up to you to **
decide** **who you let walk away,** **who you let stay, and who you refuse
to let go.'*
This is a very good one....read on.
*
**DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON? *
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,
'How do I know if I married the right person?'
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It
depends. Is that your husband?'
In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's
weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer. *
**EVERY *relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and
liked their *idiosyncrasies *(unconventional behavior/habit).
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely
natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to *DO* anything.
That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening *TO YOU*.
People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the
imagery of that __expression.
It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then
something came along and happened *TO YOU*.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But
after a few years of marriage, the *euphoria *(excitement) of love fades.
It's the natural cycle of *EVERY *relationship. Slowly but surely, phone
calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome
(when it happens), and your spouse's *idiosyncrasies*, instead of being
cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think
about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the
right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the *euphoria* of
the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for
their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the
most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship,
excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does *NOT* lie outside your marriage. It
lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone
else. You could.
And *TEMPORARILY* you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a
few years later. *Because* (listen carefully to this): *
**THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.** *
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll
*NEVER*just happen to you. You can't 'find' *LASTING love*. You have to 'make' it day
in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.'
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes
*WISDOM*. You have to know *WHAT TO DO* to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is *NOT *a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there
are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger,
certain habits in your relationship * **WILL* make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love.
Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... *Not* just a feeling.
Remember this always: *
**'God determines who walks into your **life**.** **It is up to you to **
decide** **who you let walk away,** **who you let stay, and who you refuse
to let go.'*
Friday, July 17, 2009
If you think you are my friend
Wow! I was reading some of my own entry and discovered so many grammar mistakes but then who cares! If you feel like highlighting my grammar mistakes you are welcome to do so… It is the idea that is really important…anyway I would love to write flawlessly if I have the time to sit and edit before I publish anything … just to lazy to do that! So, I just write, type what ever on my mind and publish. And I am going to make mistake again. Yeah, I know the saying…. Only fools make mistakes more than twice, but I am sure it was meant for other “mistakes”, hopefully! Okay….. I am a fool, I admit for many other reasons not just this.
One of the many reasons would be misjudging people. We meet people everyday. If you don’t go out, you’ll see them on tv, in the newspapers, from your window, or hear them on the radio, etc. And we discover new things everyday, big or small. Maybe just a new pimple on your nose, or a ‘tahi cicak’ on the floor. That’s life. And there are familiar people whom you’ll meet on regular basis, you colleagues, customers, family members, etc. They came in all shape, size and colour, personality, ideas, vision, etc. (Now I noticed the frequency of ‘etc’. maybe blab la bla is more fun!
And sometimes some people whom you feel are close to you show different sides of themselves! New behaviour, new attitude, new image or reveal somewhat totally new response or reaction towards something. Situation and circumstances can unfold many things and disclose new information, behaviour or action… is that your true colour? Then, what would be your first reaction if you stumble upon this scenario? Someone you ‘thought’ you knew, is not all that or just that! There’s hidden attributes which suddenly emerged in certain condition ….. and it wasn’t something appealing or agreeable to your beliefs and principles?
Of course nobody is perfect. I am not perfect nor are you. But we stick to certain rules, right? The do and the don’t (s), which are applicable to most human beings. That is also not a reason to hate someone or break friendship, but it builds gap, naturally…. And sometimes it hurts, to discover something you wish you never knew…(makes your life easier not knowing). And then, you also discover all the lies, you believed as the truth, slowly and painfully, killing your trust to that person. What went wrong here? The only thing I could think of is, my own foolishness! I can easily swallow everything, believing that someone who says that I am his/her friend would not lie to me.
Oh I do forgive unconditionally but… (a sign of insincerity..on my part, I am only human), I wonder why? Why lie? Not once, not twice but all the time. Are you saying the truth when you say I am your friend? How come there are so many version of you, from different people I met who said you told them so! And of course many things you told me contradict one another, I just want to believe it was my hearing problem! Because I thought you are my friend too! But why? Am I that bad that I don’t deserve to be treated with honesty and sincerity? Maybe I am. Don’t feel like continuing…. Need to do some reflection because you are not the only one whom I felt betrayed me… maybe it is my fault after all. Taaa…..
One of the many reasons would be misjudging people. We meet people everyday. If you don’t go out, you’ll see them on tv, in the newspapers, from your window, or hear them on the radio, etc. And we discover new things everyday, big or small. Maybe just a new pimple on your nose, or a ‘tahi cicak’ on the floor. That’s life. And there are familiar people whom you’ll meet on regular basis, you colleagues, customers, family members, etc. They came in all shape, size and colour, personality, ideas, vision, etc. (Now I noticed the frequency of ‘etc’. maybe blab la bla is more fun!
And sometimes some people whom you feel are close to you show different sides of themselves! New behaviour, new attitude, new image or reveal somewhat totally new response or reaction towards something. Situation and circumstances can unfold many things and disclose new information, behaviour or action… is that your true colour? Then, what would be your first reaction if you stumble upon this scenario? Someone you ‘thought’ you knew, is not all that or just that! There’s hidden attributes which suddenly emerged in certain condition ….. and it wasn’t something appealing or agreeable to your beliefs and principles?
Of course nobody is perfect. I am not perfect nor are you. But we stick to certain rules, right? The do and the don’t (s), which are applicable to most human beings. That is also not a reason to hate someone or break friendship, but it builds gap, naturally…. And sometimes it hurts, to discover something you wish you never knew…(makes your life easier not knowing). And then, you also discover all the lies, you believed as the truth, slowly and painfully, killing your trust to that person. What went wrong here? The only thing I could think of is, my own foolishness! I can easily swallow everything, believing that someone who says that I am his/her friend would not lie to me.
Oh I do forgive unconditionally but… (a sign of insincerity..on my part, I am only human), I wonder why? Why lie? Not once, not twice but all the time. Are you saying the truth when you say I am your friend? How come there are so many version of you, from different people I met who said you told them so! And of course many things you told me contradict one another, I just want to believe it was my hearing problem! Because I thought you are my friend too! But why? Am I that bad that I don’t deserve to be treated with honesty and sincerity? Maybe I am. Don’t feel like continuing…. Need to do some reflection because you are not the only one whom I felt betrayed me… maybe it is my fault after all. Taaa…..
Thursday, July 16, 2009
where you want to be
Life is a state of flux! If you are still alive definitely you will go through ups and downs, sad and happy moment, calm and chaos, anger and pain, …………
But then a friend told me that she is now in a plateau. Okay, what do I say to that? You are lucky… you don’t have think of anything, coz you have everything. She said she has all she wanted in life. A PhD, performed Haj, bought a house (maybe 2), financially stable…….
But then, I was thinking of the heartbeat and the airplane. Remember the heart machine? The one that detects your heart beat, ECG machine? It should go up and down right? The movement! How does it go?
…./ terd …./ terd…./ terd…./ terd…./ terd (Just imagine the graph moving up, again and again)! Yippeee… you are alive! But imagine the straight line …………………..tooot…………
Oh oooow…… you are history! And an airplane will ascend, up to a certain height then set itself on the level and fly till you reach a destination where it will descend and finally touch down. Okay not going to comment!
Maybe for those who feel that they are in their comfort zone, it is a plateau, having stability and life contentment. Maybe I will get there somewhere, somehow. Not to say that I am not happy with my life now, I am! But my life is still in that state of flux! There’s happy moments, there’s sad moments, there’s frustration, there’s tears, there’s laughter, blab la, bla…. But I am happy with what I have now, and I still hope that I will get all I asked for, and still I will not feel very bad if I don’t get all…. I don’t know. The thing is, I might not have much but I have some, (I m talking about life expectation and wants), if I don’t have extra, I think I have enough.
Don’t despair if you have to go through many challenges in life. Be strong, face them. Eventually, you’ll become stronger and better person. Don’t envy people on their plateau, build your own plateau if you think that is what you want. If not, be happy wherever you are….at the basement, at the ground level, 2nd base, wherever…. I keep on telling myself and those around me, everything is in your mind; you decide where you want to go, how you want to feel and where is your plateau!
As long as your heart beat and as long as your airplane is on the takeoff, you have a long way to go, so plan ahead, be optimist, be realistic, be imaginative, fantasize, do what you can as long as you know your limit and your goal at the final destination….go and strive ahead.
Just don’t be on a platter, where people can feast on you. Be wise and don’t be otherwise. But whatever you are, wherever you are, remember that we are sharing our lives with others directly or indirectly, so, do consider other people as well. Have a nice day!
But then a friend told me that she is now in a plateau. Okay, what do I say to that? You are lucky… you don’t have think of anything, coz you have everything. She said she has all she wanted in life. A PhD, performed Haj, bought a house (maybe 2), financially stable…….
But then, I was thinking of the heartbeat and the airplane. Remember the heart machine? The one that detects your heart beat, ECG machine? It should go up and down right? The movement! How does it go?
…./ terd …./ terd…./ terd…./ terd…./ terd (Just imagine the graph moving up, again and again)! Yippeee… you are alive! But imagine the straight line …………………..tooot…………
Oh oooow…… you are history! And an airplane will ascend, up to a certain height then set itself on the level and fly till you reach a destination where it will descend and finally touch down. Okay not going to comment!
Maybe for those who feel that they are in their comfort zone, it is a plateau, having stability and life contentment. Maybe I will get there somewhere, somehow. Not to say that I am not happy with my life now, I am! But my life is still in that state of flux! There’s happy moments, there’s sad moments, there’s frustration, there’s tears, there’s laughter, blab la, bla…. But I am happy with what I have now, and I still hope that I will get all I asked for, and still I will not feel very bad if I don’t get all…. I don’t know. The thing is, I might not have much but I have some, (I m talking about life expectation and wants), if I don’t have extra, I think I have enough.
Don’t despair if you have to go through many challenges in life. Be strong, face them. Eventually, you’ll become stronger and better person. Don’t envy people on their plateau, build your own plateau if you think that is what you want. If not, be happy wherever you are….at the basement, at the ground level, 2nd base, wherever…. I keep on telling myself and those around me, everything is in your mind; you decide where you want to go, how you want to feel and where is your plateau!
As long as your heart beat and as long as your airplane is on the takeoff, you have a long way to go, so plan ahead, be optimist, be realistic, be imaginative, fantasize, do what you can as long as you know your limit and your goal at the final destination….go and strive ahead.
Just don’t be on a platter, where people can feast on you. Be wise and don’t be otherwise. But whatever you are, wherever you are, remember that we are sharing our lives with others directly or indirectly, so, do consider other people as well. Have a nice day!
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